Every time MTV rolls out a reality show star instead of an actual celebrity.
Every time Taylor Swift is shown.
Every time someone makes a Justin Bieber joke.
Every time some makes a Kanye West joke.
Selena Gomez wins something.
Drake looks/acts like a tool.
Someone tries a joke that doesn't work at all.
Lil Wanye makes an appearence, looking like he could scare a small child.
Rihanna seems generally unamused.
Lady Gaga does something that makes you say, “WTF?!”
A babe does something that makes you go, “Daaaaaynum.”
If it's painfully obvious someone is lip-synching.
Someone makes a reference to Brooklyn's hipster population. Everyone in the room groans.
When they show the censored or strategically SFW version of the “Blurred Lines” music video.
Every time someone makes a “Imma let you finish” reference.
Big Sean's album is plugged.
Kendrick Lamar does something that's so very Kendrick Lamar.
Katy Perry clevage steals the show.
If you still can't name a single One Direction song and don't really understand why these guys are popular.
You actually gain some respect for Bruno Mars.
You become worried about someone's safety, I.E. Miguel's disasterous stage-jump.
If someone is wearing those stupid drop-crotch paints Justin Bieber has made popular.
Justin Timberlake does something that makes you say, “What a Bro.”
If Mac Miller, Wiz Khalifa or any other rapper is clearly high as a kite or mentions legalizing it.
Kanye West and Taylor Swift take the stage together.
Every time John Mayer is shown and looks bored.
If Nicki Minaj looks/acts possed.
This NSYNC thing actually happens and they can actually dance like this still:
If you actually watched the red carpet pre-show coverage. Get the party started right…
If some one twerks. Presumably Miley Cyrus. Or if she performs her new song:
Do a shot
Someone in the room makes a joke YOU'VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE about how MTV doesn't show music videos anymore.
Kanye goes full-Kanye, doing something predictably bat shit crazy and leaving the show.
When Lena Dunham does something to make you mad.
We get a Backstreet Boys performance instead of an NSYNC reunion. Carson Daly is pictured looking very pleased with himself.
Justin Bieber announces he's quiting music.
Finish the entire bar
Because you're watching the VMAs and playing an official VMAs drinking game instead of watching Bar Rescue, Breaking Bad, and many other noteworthy television shows on a Sunday night. This is because of your deep-seeded Fear of Missing Out. You fucking sheep. FOMO is ruining us all.
VMAs drinking game for tonight: Drink anytime you hate yourself for watching this shit instead of a new bar rescue.
— Brandon Wenerd (@brandonwenerd) August 25, 2013