Anyway, much like a stunned populace will turn to Nostradamus and other fortune tellers after a tragedy, a nation sits this morning confused and searching for any answer it can find. We now must tour to our main tool of prophecy: The Onion.
In 2008, The Onion announced that Miley Cyrus would be “depleted” by 2013. She was being used up too fast, the news institution said, and “If we don't act now, the down-to-earth Miley who likes text messaging with her friends and playing guitar in her bedroom will be wiped off the Earth forever.” “Celebrity depletion,” which had recently ruined Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, would also hit Cyrus—who, at that time, was considered a perfectly wholesome role model.
It's not that stunning that The Onion was able to predict future troubles for a wildly successful child star. But watch this video: Not only do the satiric geniuses get the year of Cyrus' watershed moment down, they essentially call the exact moment when outsiders would ask if she was “acting to wild?” It's fucking astounding.