Music
by Brandon Wenerd on February 10, 2013

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One Drink:

  • Every mention of the show's #theworldislistening slogan
  • Every time LL Cool J changes his hat
  • Every CBS camera shot of Justin Timberlake
  • PSY is pictured and everyone remembers how fucking sick he is of PSY
  • When CBS cameras show someone defying the strict dress code standards of the Grammys
  • Every time someone you're watching with makes an angry Chris Brown joke
  • If Carly Rae Jespen wins Song of the Year for “Call Me Maybe”
  • If Frank Ocean's “Channel Orange” deservedly wins Album of the Year
  • When Frank Ocean wins Best New Artist
  • When someone you're watching the show with complains about the Alabama Shakes getting robbed for not winning Best New Artist
  • If Lupe Fiasco looks strung out
  • Every time Jay-Z and Kanye West win for “Ni**as in Paris”
  • During a category that bores us to tears, like Best R&B Song and/or Performance
  • When “Levels” wins “Best Dance Song”
  • When Bruce Springsteen wins in any Rock category (just because he's The Boss)
  • Someone does a dance routine that could be a stripper show at the Spearmint Rhino

Two Drinks:

  • Every CBS camera shot of Drake. EVERY. TIME
  • Every time someone wearing a hipster douche outfit is shown. In otherwords, every time Skrillex is shown
  • When someone makes a joke about Taylor Swift's dating history
  • If Taylor Swift wins Best Record of the Year for “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”
  • If Gotye wins “Best Record of the Year” for “Somebody That I Used to Know”
  • If Fun. wins “Best Record of the Year” for “We Are Young”
  • Every time Beyonce looks smug
  • If Justin Timberlake's performance of “Suit and Tie” sucks, even with the addition of Jay-Z
  • If Odd Future shows up.
  • When Adele beats out Rihanna for “Best Pop Solo Performance”
  • Steve Aoki or Deadmau5 do something crazy in their acceptance speech after winning “Best Dance/Electronica Album”
  • Someone you're watching the show with makes snarky comments about Mumford and Sons dressing like American Civil War-era soldiers

Finish your drink:

  • When an artist looks visibly upset for not winning
  • If Rick Ross is eating a cheeseburger
  • Chris Brown and Frank Ocean get in a fight.
  • When someone makes a joke about Justin Bieber getting snubbed
  • If 2 Chainz has more than two chains on
  • If Nas manages to finally win a Grammy
  • If Skrillex beats Avicii for “Best Dance Song”
  • If there's an actual EDM artist beef war off-camera

Take a shot:

  • During the inevitable performance that makes everyone go “WTF?!” (ala Nicki Minaj's Satanic ritual last year)
  • If someone you're watching the show with asks, “Who was Levon Helm?” during the tribute to the late, great founding member of The Band
  • If someone you're watching the show with asks, “Who was Dave Brubeck?” during the Stanley Clarke, Chick Corea, and Kenny Garrett tribute to the late, great jazz pianist
  • If any artist other than Frank Ocean wins “Album of the Year”
  • If Drake's “The Motto” wins Best Rap Song of the Year
  • When you're sick of hearing “We Are Young,” “Somebody That I Used to Know,” and “Call Me Maybe,” just for the hell of it

Take a shot of whiskey:

  • Every country performance. Except you, Taylor Swift, because you're not country

Smoke a blunt

  • When CBS cameras show Snoop Dogg/Snoop Lion looking ridiculous
  • If someone — we're looking at you, Wiz Khalifa — actually references weed's legalization in Colorado and/or Washington

Butt chug*

  • Imma let you finish” — Kanye interrupts someone's acceptance speech for whatever reason. 

Have some more Grammy drinking game rules? Let us know in the comments! 

*Don't actually butt-chug, idiot.