Just like you, my circuits are completely fried on "Black and Yellow" remixes. From this point forward, I'm going to make it a point to publicly ridicule and mock the assclown basement rappers who constantly e-mail us remixs of the song and laud it as "the dopest track to hit the Internet!!!!!!" Desperate times call for desperate measures. Seriously, just stop. It's pathetic.

In the meantime, just when I thought it wasn't humanly possible to produce a remix worse than "White and Purple" or "White and Green" or "Royal Blue and Sea Green Magenta," the bar somehow has sunk even lower. Even if you're a Penguins fan with a wardrobe made up entirely of Crosby jerseys, this so-called "rap" -- set to Wiz's now ubiquitous hook -- about the Pittsburgh Penguins will make you want to stick your index finger down your throat and spew chunks of acidic stomach bile all over your keyboard. Sure, it's satire, but  it might make you cough up some intestinal lining. It's really that bad. You've been warned.

Can we go back to "Empire State of Mind" remixes now? Please?