This reads like it was written by a 14-year-old rattling off terms he heard in his first sex-ed class. Or maybe a demented 85-year-old nun from a Catholic School yelling at the kinda slutty student with the skirt a bit too high, "PUFFY SKIN EXPOSURE!!!" Regardless, it's weird. Deadline's Nikki Finke got her hands on an email sent by CBS's Standards & Practices division—these are the people who enforce FCC rules in TV shows by removing excessive violence, profanity, and nudity; the awesome things—to the handlers of performers scheduled to "sing" at the Grammy's this Sunday. This is a real email.

Date: February 5, 2013, 10:39:56 PM EST
Subject: 55th GRAMMYS: Standard And Practice Wardrobe Advisory

-kindly confirm receipt of s&p standards-

***GRAMMYS 2013***

CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could  possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.

You can't argue with the S&P division trying to enforce some sort of modesty to an event that gave us Pink doing this. But the language they chose to use... "Puffy bare skin exposure." 'Bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack." "Female breast nipples."

Actually, I was wrong at the beginning of the post. This was written by an alien.

[H/T: Deadline]