When Big Ghost Chronicles -- a.k.a. FAKE Ghostface Killah -- writes reviews of highly-anticipated hip hop albums, the whole world wins. Remember his review of "Watch the Throne" last summer? This one is just as hilarious. He goes deep below.
Ayo whattup you in the presence of the almighty Hands of Zeus aka Galaxy Knuckles aka Phantom Raviolis or the grand imperial Cocaine Biceps hisself nahmean. First off I jus wanna say whattup n thank you to the Okayplayer family for askin the god to come bless they shit witta review for this joint namsayin. The god mad humbled yo. Thats some remarkable shit right there b. So we gon get into this review for the Cruel Summer joint. But heed these words first… The views n shit in this muthafucka is all my owns…so that aint in no way a reflection of nobody other than myself n whatever whatever. No other man or woman or child represented heretofore n such hereby is sharin the opinion of the gentleman who be sayin the shit contained within namsayin. This muthafucka do be containin foul language n shit that might offend small children n old people n shit too. Bein that this is a family website n shit I jus wanted to put that out there nahmean. So without no further ado….
1. “To The World” – Kanye & R. Kelly: – This the first joint. I aint exactly mad at this shit but Imma be honest…this shit be soundin kinda like Ye was tryin to make All Of The Lights Part II n only Kellz showed up to the studio that day….n son had to sing Beyonce, Rihanna n Chris Brown parts on top of his own or some shit. The black Roman Polanski kinda need to chill tho cuz his singin is wild gay on this shit b. After 18 minutes or some shit of the nigga singin his heart out Yeezy finally spits some bars. But not to knock it or nothin…I could kinda live without this scented candles n milk baths shit.
2. “Clique” – Kanye, Jay-Z & Big Sean: – You take a song wit Jay n Kanye on it n you add Big Sean to that shit…thats like takin Wagyu steak witta side of truffles n you splash some A-1 sauce on that muthafucka namsayin. That nigga Big Sean is a condiment b. The nigga is ketchup nahmean. Son aint even on the menu namsayin. You dont go to ANY restaurant n see ketchup on the menu b. Not even cheap ass spots like Burger King got ketchup on the menu…that shit aint a item on the menu. At a nice restaurant they jus be throwin that shit there on the table sometimes like “yo…if you a uncultured lowlife muthafucka you can ga’head n splash summa this shit on ya expensive ass food or whatever son”. If its a real nice spot…like some place witta “Chez” in front of the name they probably aint even got no ketchup or steak sauce in the buildin at all yo… They jus be havin the grey poupon type joints or some shit nahmean. But yo Sean…stop callin yaself “B.I.G.” on tracks you degenerate medium ass muthafucka….thats jus disrespectful. How Jay allowin that shit? N why Jay usin Fat Joe’s flow for the first 4 bars of his shit? Gettin back to Sean tho…this might be the first halfway decent joint son ever been on. N its definitely the only song I ever heard son spit on where I aint feel like I wanted to punch a infant after hearin his corny ass rap. Of course dude had to insert some hoe shit in there tho talmbout “I need a spa day”………cmon son. I guarantee you this muthafucka likes gettin his toes sucked namsayin. But yo…outside of all that homophile shit…I fucks wit this shit kinda heavy. Hit-Boy did the damn thing on this beat too…no frontin.
3. “Mercy” – Kanye, Big Sean, Pusha T, 2 Chainz: This shit always been jus aiiiight to me. When 2 Chainz the one who spit the best verse on ANY joint wit one or more muthafuckas on it you kno it aint right… Thats like watchin a Clippers game n Lamar Odom come up off the bench n got it rainin 3s up in that muthafucka… Like how the fuck this shit happen? The other problem wit the song is the eurotrash dance changeup for Yeezys verse to that Scarface disco shit. That shit is like the suspect ass cousin of the switch up for the Biggie verse on The Benjamins joint or some shit…Nah I aint feelin it. But the song aight.