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Ranking the best Super Bowl commercials: food and booze

By / 02.03.14

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This year’s Super Bowl commercials were more disappointing that everyone’s favorite Papa John’s franchisee. The food and booze industry held up their end of the deal for the most part though. I ranked all 18 spots from worst to first, so take another look, and see if you agree.

18. SodaStream – Sorry Coke and Pepsi

It doesn’t matter that the commercial features sexy-ass Scarlett Johansson. You automatically lose. if you mention “go viral.”

17. Bud Light Platinum – Zedd

Bud Light Platinum is all about perceived lifestyle which is tough to pitch. They continued the EDM connection but again the spot did nothing for anyone.

16. Cheerios – Gracie

This campaign has been going on for almost a year now. It was inspiring at first, but it’s only value lies in its controversy.

15. Chobani – Bear

A bear acting like a bull in a china shop was a funny concept, but the spot didn’t produce any laughs.

14. Butterfinger – Cups

The final line gave a chuckle, but overall it was mediocre at beast.

13. Labatt Blue – Undomesticated Snowboarding

Who doesn’t want to watch a bear snowboarding?

12. Heinz – Hum

We all know to tap the 57, but we universally still hit the bottom. Plus, fart joke.

11. Bud Light – Cool Twist

The commercial brought very little to the table, but having the spot be the world premier for a new Afrojack track earns BL bonus points.

10. Coke – Going All the Way

Rudy meets the Little Giants was solid, but it was a missed opportunity for funny little kid shit talking.

9. M&Ms – Delivery

Russian(?) mobsters and our own imagination carried this higher than the script should have let it.

8. Doritos – Time Machine

Solid entry from in Doritos “Crash the Super Bowl” contest. “Jimmy? You’re so old!”

7. Bud Light – Up for Whatever

Awesome commercial, but too long. So long that Minka Kelly didn’t even make it to air. The final situational explanation was outstanding though.

6. Doritos – Cowboy Kid

Most people probably tuned out by the time this aired, but it reminded me of how I used to ride my dogs as a little kid.

5. Coke – It’s Beautiful

Coke pissed off all the racists who want to remind everyone that we speak American. I loved it.

4. Budweiser – Puppy Love

Another amazing commercial that would have been missed had everyone not already seen it a dozen times last week.

3. Wonderful Pistachios – Stephen Colbert

Pistachios usually plucks YouTubers but this time they went with major star power, and Stephen Colbert paid off big time.

2. Dannon Oikos – The Spill

The commercial could have ended at the lustful look after the “accidental” lap drop and been a big winner. Then it got even better.

1. Budweiser – A Heroes Welcome

Everyone knew this commercial was coming, and it still got dusty in the room. That’s power.


TAGSbest Super Bowl commercialsBud LightBud Light PlatinumBudweiserbutterfingerchobaniCoca ColaCokecolumnsCommercialsdannon oikosDoritosFull Househoreos welcomejeinzJohn Stamoslabatt bluem&m'sranking the super bowl commercialssodastreamStephen ColbertSuper BowlSuper Bowl commercialssuper bowl spotswonderful pistachios
Colin Joliat
About Colin Joliat... Colin Joliat is the 2nd best person to ever come from Flint, Michigan, behind only Andre "Bad Moon" Rison. He covers the food & alcohol industries with two parts information, one part comedy, and one part WTF is wrong with this guy. When not passing off drinking as research, he can typically be found in parks trying to trick people into believing he's funny. Follow him on Facebook.

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