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How to make the world’s greatest Raspberry Black Bean Dip

By / 12.26.13
Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

Most layered dips are the same old boring stuff. Be the coolest cat in the alley by making this ridiculously good (and easy) Raspberry Black Bean Dip. You’ll thank me later.

Earlier I posted a recipe for the best Spinach and Artichoke Dip I’ve ever had. Part of its success was bacon, but you can’t go wrong with a classic. This time I bring you the one dip that I make almost religiously. Yeah, my Jesus is better than yours. If that isn’t enough for you, I had a dream last night in which Chris O’Donnell said it was delicious. Even if you don’t trust me, you can certainly trust Charlie Simms. He always does what’s right.

Five layers is the ideal number for dip. After that you’re just throwing shit in there to hit a higher number. Do I really want to be eating lettuce on a chip? No. No I don’t. This gets right to the good stuff. Black beans, onions, cream cheese, raspberry salsa, and Monterey Jack cheese. No rules; just right.

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

That thing I just said about rules? I lied. You really need to layer this in the right order or you’re going to ruin everything and be the laughing stock of whatever party you’re attending. It’s not that you have to be a slave to the man, it’s just that the beans are the only suitable base and the cream cheese then helps everything underneath it stick together.

Luckily for you, I took this handy photo so you can visualize how it’s supposed to go. The onions are a little tough to see because I only had to use white instead of red (damn you Christmas store closings!), but you’re eyes are young and spry. You can handle it.

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

You’re done already. It may seem simple, but trust me when I say this is the best bean dip you’ll ever eat. It’s been a staple at Joliat Party of One dinners for at least 8 years now.

The key to the whole thing is the raspberry salsa, ideally from Rothschild. It’s the thickest and most delicious salsa in the game and worth whatever stupid price they’re charging. I retract the money-back guarantee I put on this dip if you use a different salsa, but others will certainly work. I’ve used a no-name raspberry chipotle salsa multiple times with great results.

“Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will.”

Ingredients:

  • 8 oz. Black beans, drained
  • 8 oz. Cream cheese, cut thin
  • 1 small Red onion, chopped
  • 1 jar (10 oz.) Rothschild Raspberry Salsa
  • 8 oz. Monterey Jack cheese, grated
  • Tortilla chips

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
  2. In oven-safe casserole or baking dish, layer ingredients as listed above starting with black beans.
  3. Instead of cutting the cream cheese you can just smash it until thin with your hands.
  4. Bake in the oven for 20 – 30 minutes or until bubbly.
  5. Serve with Tortilla Chips.

Check out more crack-like party favorites from the Guyism Grill


TAGSbeans and cheese dip recipebest layered dipbest taco dipblack bean dipblack bean dip recipefive layer dip recipeguyism grillraspberry salsarobert rothschildrothschild farmsrothschild salsa
Colin Joliat
About Colin Joliat... Colin Joliat is the 2nd best person to ever come from Flint, Michigan, behind only Andre "Bad Moon" Rison. He covers the food & alcohol industries with two parts information, one part comedy, and one part WTF is wrong with this guy. He's currently pretending people care about his new drunken venture, Boozist.

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