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8 dumbest things on restaurant menus

By / 12.10.12
Dumbest Things Restaurant Menu

Dinner Series, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dinnerseries/6093400304/sizes/z/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Just because something is on TV doesn’t mean its true and just because something is on a restaurant menu, it doesn’t mean that the chef’s creation is worthy of it being there. Here are some stupid foods that might taste decent, but are held back from reaching their true potential.

Photo credit: Dinner Series, Flickr

8 Lobster Mac ‘n Cheese

Lobster Mac Cheese

kurmanstaff, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kurmanphotos/6796461738/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


People who love lobster don’t order it in mac n’ cheese. How do I know this? Because lobster is a sweet, delicate and expensive treat. When you eat it with the powerful deliciousness that is mac n’ cheese you’re wasting all the subtle flavor of the lobster. Show me a lobster mac n’ cheese that has balanced flavor and I’ll show you some lobster and some mac n’ cheese and ask that you please keep them separate.

Photo credit: kurmanstaff, Flickr

7 Small Plates

Small Plates

allesok, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/allesok/4629878141/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Small plates are for ladies who primarily want to eat wine for dinner. I love the idea of tapas, but you and I both know that restaurant owners are just trying to make us feel hip and trendy while stealing our hard earned money for yes, little plates of food that are barely shareable, even as appetizers.

Photo credit: allesok, Flickr

6 Salads with Meat and Fruit

Meat Fruit Salad

Dinner Series, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dinnerseries/6093400304/sizes/z/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


The only salad I can think of that has meat, fruit and vegetables all together in harmony is a mandarin orange chicken salad. Besides that, strawberries and chicken don’t belong together, pork doesn’t go with blueberries and steak does not go with kiwi. Yes, restaurants make salads like these. If you need meat, fruit and vegetables together, then do a cooked entree like a roast with apples, onions and brussel sprouts.

Photo credit: Dinner Series, Flickr

5 Shrimp on Pizza

Shrimp Pizza

naotakem, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/naotakem/3561421814/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Shrimp and pizza are delicious, just not together. What you’re actually paying for is overcooked shrimp enveloped in greasy cheese and probably some type of ridiculous vegetable topping like asparagus when the shrimp would be much better served over pasta or as an appetizer. For the love of pizza, don’t top it with shellfish.

Photo credit: naotakem, Flickr

4 Organs

Organs

mdid, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mdid/829877522/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Why eat a nasty organ when you can just have pate’? The exception to this is foie gras which tastes amazing because the ducks are fattened through force feeding. Actually, that’s terrible…now I’m depressed.

Photo credit: mdid, Flickr

3 Fusion Cuisine That Makes No Sense

Fusion Cuisine pic

Calgary Reviews, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/calgaryreviews/6045914821/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Fusion cuisine is full of great ideas that are hardly ever executed the right way. And no, fusion is not just offering two different types of cuisines at a single eatery. Cheeseburgers in pizza crust is a good example. Unless you’re trying to kill yourself with poor American cuisine choices, crust is usually best when filled with dough or mozzarella cheese on occasion. But Tex Mex is the biggest exception to the shitty reputation of fusion cuisine. Fuck yeah, Tex Mex!

Photo credit: Calgary Reviews, Flickr

2 Turkey Anything

Turkey Burger

SocialMediarts.com, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/socialmediarts/7444322782/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


I like turkey, but unless it’s Thanksgiving or you’re ordering a deli sandwich, there’s never any reason to get turkey when you can just get chicken or beef. So dishes like Guy Fieri’s turkey tequila fettucine could probably be made better by using chicken instead. And taking the tequila out of the dish and putting it into a shot glass. Seriously, what the fuck is that all about? And as far as turkey burgers go…sure they’re good, but you know what’s better? Beef burgers. And here’s the rub, ground turkey is often not any healthier than beef, though it’s marketed as if it is.

Photo credit: SocialMediarts.com, Flickr

1 Chocolate Lava Cake

Chocolate Lava Cake

raramaurina, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/maurina/8104703142/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Dude, just make a souffle.

Photo credit: raramaurina, Flickr


TAGSArbitrary Rankingsbad restaurant menusChocolate Lava Cakedumb fooddumb menu ideasdumb restaurant menusfeaturedFusion CuisineListsLobster Mac n Cheeserestaurant menussalad with fruitsalad with meatshrimp pizzastupid foodstupid restaurant menus
Jason Epstein
About Jason Epstein... Jason Epstein is a nationally published freelance writer living in the greater NYC area. He's known for his close friends/good conversations/playing bass/wind in the face/rocking out/reading up/holding it down/good times/turning on dimes/and sometimes trying to rhyme(s). He can be reached at his website and you can follow him on Twitter here.

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