Fast food commercials have always been a source of entertainment. When your food is typically disgusting, you have to come up with some pretty creative ways to make yourself look good. While chains now rely on food staging and misleading health facts, the 70s was the age of the jingle. Here are 7 of the best from all your favorite fast food joints.
Photo Credit: YouTube/KFC
Apparently back in '79 marketing teams didn't have great vocabularies. It seems like describing a meal simply as "hot" doesn't accomplish a whole lot. To paraphrase Chris Rock. "It's supposed to be hot you dumb mothafucka. Whatchu you want, a cookie?"
Oh how I long for the good old days of the "U-cut." That said, if the guy at the :11 mark has to make my sandwich to get it, I'll pass. He clearly was just in the back banging the bread.
Apparently Burger King really wants you to know they don't fry their burgers given that they mentioned it four times in 30 seconds. Little did they know that America didn't really give a shit. Welcome to #3, king.
"It's nice to feel so good about a meal." I'm not sure there's a bigger load of crap than that. I have never once eaten from KFC and not regretted it within the hour, especially not once they created Patton Oswalt's favorite "failure pile in a sadness bowl."
If asked to describe Taco Bell now, "The Fresh Food Place" is certainly not one of the first eighty-four sentences that would come out of my mouth. I do appreciate the guy in the old school Michigan varsity jacket though.
If you don't recognize the name, it's because Burger Chef was bought out by Hardee's in the 90s. The home of the Monster Thickburger seems like the perfect home for a chain who's jingle insisted you "open wide, America."
Oh snap! "Says a me." The little kid's got jokes! The Big Mac ingredient jingle may be the most famous of all, but the real star here is those amazing jet skis. They make me want to become one of those crazy ladies who goes to garage sales an hour early just to find one.
Obvious this isn't from the 70s, but it's by far my favorite fast food song of all time so deal with it. It's my list. With lines like, "You dippin' on me?" and "Girl you got a 10-piece please don't be stingy," I just couldn't leave it out.
(Originally published on May 3, 2012.)
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