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5 ways to feed your Super Bowl party without doing any work

By / 01.24.14



Hosting a Super Bowl party is great because you don’t have to leave the house and people always abandon their leftover booze. You might be expected to feed the crowd though, so here are five easy ways to do so without any effort. Warning, your friends may hate you for some of them.

1. Fake it don’t make it

Omaha Steaks

Omaha Steaks

Super Sunday Supreme

If you want your friends to think you put in a lot of time and energy, Peyton’s favorite audible has you covered. No one will suspect that you just bought pre-made pigs in a blanket. This way you can guilt trip them into leaving that bottle of Bookers they intended to take back home with them. Omaha Steaks – $40

2. The laziest friend on Earth



Gallon of Salsa

If you want to do the bare minimum, you can always go with chips and salsa. Don’t bother with all sorts of varieties; once you’ve gone down this road there’s no way to make it “not quite so bad.” I hope you like salsa though, because you aren’t going to have any friends to help you finish it after this. Costco – $10.45

3. The Italian Stallion


<a href="" target="_blank">Costco</a>

Italian Deli Assortment

Let the ladies have their cheese plates; you want this meat platter. It’s packed with Capocollo, Pancetta, Mortadella & Calabrese… everything you need to make Tony Siragusa at least mildly tolerable. Costco – $80

4. The cop out




It doesn’t matter that this popcorn comes with your team’s logo on it; you’re an asshole. You promised to provide food, and instead all you offer is corn off the cobb. God willing, your obnoxious drunk friend throws the tin up in the air absolutely destroying your apartment. The Popcorn Factory – $44

5. The party stopper


<a href="" target="_blank">Target</a>

White Castle Sliders

If you want the party to end as soon as the game does, pack the freezer with everyone’s favorite undersized burger. Break ‘em out after the third quarter and everyone will be dying to get home before Peyton can remove the stickers from his championship hat. Target – $4

TAGScolumnseasy super bowl recipesfood for super bowlgallon of salsameat platemeat platterNFL popcornomaha steaksPopcornSuper Bowlsuper bowl snackswhite castle sliders
Colin Joliat
About Colin Joliat... Colin Joliat is the 2nd best person to ever come from Flint, Michigan, behind only Andre "Bad Moon" Rison. He covers the food & alcohol industries with two parts information, one part comedy, and one part WTF is wrong with this guy. When not passing off drinking as research, he can typically be found in parks trying to trick people into believing he's funny. Follow him on Facebook.

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