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Why Threesomes Are Overrated

7 ways women strip men of their manhood

By / 11.17.12
Stripped of Manhood

Dave Fayram, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/davefayram/4954316001/sizes/l/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Sometimes men and women who are in romantic relationships tend to rub off on one another. But what if those things that are “rubbing off” are really just ways you’re submitting to your partner, rather than something you actually want? Often, men will do a lot of things for women that they wouldn’t ordinarily get roped into, wrapped up in or touch with a ten foot pole. Here are some of the those things that have the unfortunate byproduct of making us that much less of a man.

Photo credit: Dave Fayram, Flickr

7 Drinking Fruity Drinks Because They’re All That’s Around

Fruity Drinks

BluEyedA73, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/blueyeda73/4106628635/sizes/z/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Alright, if it’s a cranberry and vodka, we’ll allow it. But generally speaking we don’t want any of that Malibu bay breeze dragon berry whipped cream marshmallow tropical crap. We want some manly shit like tequila shots with Four-Loko chasers or some wine that’s been fermenting inside the circulatory system of a King Cobra for the past decade. We keep some white wine around for you, so please keep some beer (or the aforementioned reptilian liquor) around for us.

Photo credit: BluEyedA73, Flickr

6 Trying to Dress Us

Dress Us

Annie Mole, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/anniemole/120408251/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Why is it when women buy us clothing it’s always things like sweaters and scarves? Maybe I want to wear some goddamn mandals! Stop trying to turn us into metrosexuals and just be happy we put (sweat)pants on after noon.

Photo credit: Annie Mole, Flickr

5 Shopping

Shopping

Klearchos Kapoutsis, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/klearchos/4223393347/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Point and click. That’s how I like to shop, but women want so much more. They like to BE in a place where shopping occurs. They want to try before they buy, look in the window at shoes they’ve longed for ever since the beginning of the season and then (depending on how wrapped up they get in the moment) say “To hell with it” and max out that credit card. Hell, some women even make returning a bunch of items into a shopping trip. Please don’t drag us along for this type of stuff unless you plan on reciprocating by doing something we love that you’re not crazy about.

Photo credit: Klearchos Kapoutsis, Flickr

4 Decorating

Decorating

Steve Snodgrass, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/stevensnodgrass/4621659779/sizes/l/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


When guys throw parties there are two things that are important: beer and food. But often when women throw parties there’s the question of how to decorate the apartment or what the “theme” or what flow there is to the space. Why don’t we just compromise and make the decorations edible and the theme “Gettin’ drunk on a Saturday?”

Photo credit: Steve Snodgrass, Flickr

3 Watching ‘Glee’

Glee

renaissancechambara, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/renaissancechambara/6065801586/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


If you’re a man who watches Glee, it’s because the woman in your life desires it. This is a 100% accurate fact that cannot be disproved by any amount of statistics or science. How do I know this? Because I was one of those guys. When I was watching it I thought maybe I liked it. But as soon as I wasn’t obligated to watch it anymore, I stopped immediately and it felt so right. This example also works with Twilight, Jersey Shore and anything TMZ.

Photo credit: renaissancechambara, Flickr

2 Witholding Sex

No Sex

erix!, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/erix/277593387/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Didn’t you know that sex brings couples closer together, eases headaches, helps joint pain, boosts your immune system and helps you sleep more soundly? Don’t hold back just because the relationship isn’t perfect. If anything, sex should be used as a tool (fine, in conjunction with communication and support and other relationship-y things) to ease tension.

Photo credit: erix!, Flickr

1 Going for the Nut Shot

Nut Shot

MartialArtNomad.com, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/superwebdeveloper/4556428417/sizes/m/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>


Now, we know this is a rare occurrence, but some of the more rough ‘n tough gals who play sports or enjoy engaging in the occasional wrestling match or mosh pit festivities forget that we have a sensitive area between our legs. Please, be CAREFUL. Because this, more than anything else, can take away our manhood pretty damn fast.

Photo credit: MartialArtNomad.com, Flickr


(Originally published on February 21, 2012.)


TAGSArbitrary RankingsemasculatedEmasculated manfeaturedhow women ruin menListsmanhoodstripped of manhoodstupid things guys dostupid things men doWhat men will do for women
Jason Epstein
About Jason Epstein... Jason Epstein is a nationally published freelance writer living in the greater NYC area. He's known for his close friends/good conversations/playing bass/wind in the face/rocking out/reading up/holding it down/good times/turning on dimes/and sometimes trying to rhyme(s). He can be reached at his website and you can follow him on Twitter here.

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