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10 of the strangest themes in Japanese porn

By / 05.08.11

Themes Japanese Porn

jetalone, Flickr



I can understand why Americans wouldn’t want to watch a Japanese Adult Video (JAV). Aside from speaking a foreign language, porn stars from the Far East are unshaven, tend to cry instead of moan, and to top if off, censorship laws require all penetration to be blurred out. That means when Asuka-chan gets on her knees to perform fellatio, the space directly in front of her face will magically convert into 8-bit graphics.

Now before you round up the patriots in the name of Sasha Grey DP scenes and march on the Land of The Rising Sun, do remember, this is the nation that created Final Fantasy III and the Ramen instant noodle. Where they have failed in arousing foreigners, they more than compensate with how shamelessly dedicated they are to satisfying the most niche fetishes, no matter how strange and unheard of.

With that out of the way, here are 10 of the strangest Japanese adult video themes you may or may not want to view.

Photo credit: jetalone, Flickr

10 Fully Clothed
There’s not too many rules in pornography. You are required to remove your clothing and then have intercourse in front of a camera. But the director of our first kind of movie will stop the scene if the actress’ nipple slipped. I understand leaving something up to the imagination but this is like watching a high school dance with better lighting.

9 Freeze Time
The Freeze Time theme speaks to anybody who wishes they can ‘pause’ life and act out their real innermost desires. This movie is what would happen if the power fell into the hands of a guy. If you’re a female and can’t imagine that, its no different from a scene out of your local Macy’s starring the lonely janitor and his mannequins at night time.

8 Invisible Man
If you have never thought about freezing time, you definitely imagined what it would be like to disappear (we’re not talking about you My Chemical Romance fans either!). You imagined all the diabolical pranks you could get away with, the parental beat downs you would avoid, then eventually, all the boobs you could ogle in the girl’s locker room. These movies take that a step further and show Kevin Bacon how Hollowman is properly done.

7 Tentacles
Every discussion about anime porn (or hentai) is always concluded by the obligatory tentacle joke and then everyone laughs. Good times right? Not for our brave warriors, in live-action tentacle movies, who have to deal with anywhere from five to twenty tentacles whose sole mission is to either poke or probe. And Debbie Does Dallas thought she had it bad.

6 Inny Nipples
“For our next movie, we take nipples (pause for dramatic effect) and make dimples!” Resounding cheers from all around the boardroom as the idea man is hoisted up in the air and the Inny Nipple porn comes to DVD.

5 Indigenous Village Porn
Things get lost in translation all the time but when the Japanese heard the phrase “charity fuck”, it was too accurate. Oh well, turns out sending pornstars to indigenous villages makes for great wank material. So to any guys who enjoyed National Geographic magazine as much as their Hustler, this one’s for you.

4 Courage Test in School
The courage test is a Japanese school tradition, where two students are paired up to walk through an empty school at night or go on a walk through dark woods. So, you would think the appeal is there for anybody who partook in this growing up. Wrong. The highlights of these films are when the guy tries to scare his partner, even turning off the light and slamming the door before completely ditching her for added screamage.

3 The Deadly Lion
If you’re talking about a test of courage, ‘sex in front of a deadly lion’ deserves its spot. While some people wouldn’t get near a lion’s cage with a stick, the couple in this film get in that cage and get it on like rabbits. Last time I checked, lions eat rabbits. Still, I’m sure Steve Irwin (RIP) has a similar homemade video like this somewhere in the vault.

2 The Nonchalant F*ck
This is PDA (public displays of affection) like you’ve never seen before. The producers get a pornstar to act as a secretary or a food truck server and interact with unknowing passersby while getting donked from behind. The customers never mind that she’s slightly moaning or bouncing up and down. Maybe she just needs a bathroom break?

1 Race Track
Our most bizarre theme might be the most elaborate. For this movie, producers rented out a whole race track and even created a special go-kart. It’s equipped with a built-in dildo that penetrates the driver, an av actress strapped to the kart, as the wheels turn creating the most shameful display. Not sure if this perpetuates the stereotype that Asian women can’t drive, but it certainly won’t cause any road rage, especially when it stars top porn star Maria Ozawa.


TAGSArbitrary RankingsCourage Test in School pornDeadly Lion pornfeaturedFreeze Time pornFully Clothed pornIndigenous Village PornInny Nipples pornInvisible Man pornJapanese porn themesListsRace Track pornTentacle porn
About David "Rek" Lee... David "Rek" Lee is okay at writing (with bylines in The Source and XXL), not bad at rapping (rekstizzy.bandcamp.com) and amazing at OkCupid.

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