Online dating has lost a lot of the negative connotations that has been attached to it. Thankfully, that means that the modern man can scour the Web for anything from a one evening wonder to a soul mate with just a few mouse clicks. But that doesn't mean dating on the interweb is easy. If you want to save yourself some time, energy and frustration when it comes to online dating then read on...
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A friend of mine calls this something like "The Law of Smoke and Mirrors." This is a rule you should apply all the time. In fact, take a look at their worst photo and ask yourself if you're cool with that. Actually, if you are referring to her as "that," then you've already got yourself a problem. Next!
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If you see that one method works and another doesn't, then you should adjust your strategy accordingly.
Here's an example: Women that have already looked at your profile and haven't messaged you aren't necessarily uninterested. These same women are far more likely to message you back as compared to women you message out of the blue. So if there's one you fancy, it's a no-brainer to give it a shot by saying "hi."
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The key to setting up the right introductory phase with a new person is to not go into too much detail in your online profile. Just touch upon the basics of who you are and leave something to the imagination. That doesn't mean you should write something generic and half-assed though.
Likewise, when you're looking for someone to date, refrain from judging profiles too easily. Especially ones that seem to be devoid of that wealth of information you're probably hoping for. And don't make your search terms so narrow that you're potentially missing out on women who could be great companions.
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We're adults and although some grammatical errors may slip us by, spelling errors shouldn't because they can make even a very intelligent person look stupid. So when you're deciding whether to use "there," "they're" or "their," just remember... you learned that already... IN 4TH GRADE.
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Action photos are great; so, if you're good at something then you should have a photo of yourself doing it. It never hurts to have a photo of yourself with other women, as long as you don't look like some type of douchey frat boy collecting X chromosomes as a status building exercise. Above all else, make sure you're putting up photos that you look good in. This means showing confidence, but not necessarily smiling (since it's been concluded through a University of British Columbia study that women actually find men who are NOT smiling to be more attractive).
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Don't put up photos that showcase your goofy smile, beer drinking skills, or choice of Ninja Turtles bed wear. It's great if you have super cool interests and you're happy to flaunt them, but online dating make you subject to brutally quick decision making and you definitely want to keep away from anything sophomoric, questionable or weird.
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This will get you up on the main page of the site, or at least closer to the front of the line when someone does a search for a match. Conversely, the less activity that your profile has going on, the less activity that it will get.
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Some people just don't look like their pictures. This can be a good or bad thing. If she's blatantly misled you, then you have reason to be angry. Not just because you've been duped into dating a woman who can pack away twice as many hot wings as you can, but also because there's a serious element of honesty already missing.
On the other hand, she could end up being better looking than her pictures. True story; some people just aren't photogenic. Just keep yourself from blurting out something stupid like, "Wow, you are so hot! I wasn't expecting that!"
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Just because you wish women did it doesn't mean you should. Even if you have abs that can cut diamonds, women find it crude and can't see past the fact that you're basically posing for her approval.
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Just like anonymous message board posts on the Web, online dating can be pretty merciless. And as I mentioned before, it's a lightning-fast affair where snap decisions are made all the time. You're going to get passed over a million times, ignored hundreds of times and forgotten about dozens of times and you know what? That's OK. Because here and there you'll meet someone and have a connection, and that's what it's all about. If you get discouraged, take that negative feeling and turn it into positive work that will get you where you want to be.
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(Previously published on September 26, 2011.)
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