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7 do’s and don’ts for starting a conversation with her

By / 04.22.13
starting a conversation with a woman

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-134493155/stock-photo-attractive-woman-talking-with-a-man-close-up-portrait.html" target="_blank">Man talking to woman image</a> by Shutterstock


Most men have no problem speaking to a woman they’ve just met as long as they don’t actually have to exert the effort involved in initiating the conversation. Unfortunately, this restricts many of the random encounters and great opportunities that would have presented themselves. Let’s talk about some of the do’s and don’ts for starting a conversation with a woman that catches your eye.

Photo credit: Man talking to woman image by Shutterstock

7 DON’T take her out of her element

element

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-135300716/stock-photo-woman-using-smartphone-in-city-at-night.html" target="_blank">Woman with phone image</a> by Shutterstock


Flow your interruption smoothly with whatever she’s doing. If she has her phone out and you’re thinking of getting a new one, ask her how she likes it. If she and her friend are having a debate about something, put your two cents in (if they seem friendly and approachable). If she’s trying out a new exercise at the gym, ask her what she likes about it.

Photo credit: Woman with phone image by Shutterstock

6 DO make eye contact

eye contact

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-135402920/stock-photo-medium-closeup-of-an-adult-man-years-old-he-s-looking-at-the-camera-with-an-awed-surprised.html" target="_blank">Man’s eyes image</a> by Shutterstock


Obviously, staring at cleavage is a big no-no, but betraying yourself (and your own confidence) by forgoing sustained eye contact (okay, not too long, ya creep!) is a sure way to go home without her number.

Photo credit: Man’s eyes image by Shutterstock

5 DO speak to her friends

women

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-135105071/stock-photo-group-of-young-women-in-the-bar.html" target="_blank">Group of women image</a> by Shutterstock


You know how in movies they always show a beautiful woman alone at the bar? Beautiful women are never alone at a bar. That means you’ll have to speak to her friends. And you know what? That’s okay. Being fun and sociable and enjoying whatever situation or conversation you’re in has its perks. Also, the woman you are interested in will see that you’ve hit it off with someone she chooses to spend time with, which is a big plus.

Photo credit: Group of women image by Shutterstock

4 DON’T buy her a drink (especially if she asks you to)

woman drink

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-134724920/stock-photo-sexy-young-woman-on-a-bar-beach-drinking-fresh-green-mint-she-has-white-summer-hat.html" target="_blank">Woman drinking image</a> by Shutterstock


Many women are sweet and wonderful, but there are also manipulative ones out there who know that asking for a drink regardless of their actual interest level in a guy will net them a drink. Buying a woman a drink the first time you meet her (unless it’s on a date) is like saying, “Here, this is your payment for having to spend time with me,” so you should probably go ahead and skip that tactic. If she asks you to get a drink and you say, “No,” she’ll either be impressed/attracted to you for not giving in to her immediate desire, or she’ll leave your company in search of another guy. Good riddance.

Photo credit: Woman drinking image by Shutterstock

3 DO have something to say

say

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-134465609/stock-photo-break-at-a-coffee-shop-in-downtown-treas.html" target="_blank">Man and woman image</a> by Shutterstock


Don’t be boring like all the other guys she’s passed on. Have an amusing observation, an interesting anecdote or a worthwhile question for her instead of just saying “Hi,” “What’s up,” or “Do you like this place?”

Photo credit: Man and woman image by Shutterstock

2 DON’T have an agenda

agenda

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-133681241/stock-photo-man-telling-secret-to-woman.html" target="_blank">Man whispering to woman image</a> by Shutterstock


Don’t talk to women with the intentions of taking them home right away. While that might work on spring break, other times women will know exactly what you’re about, and it’ll make them uncomfortable.

Photo credit: Man whispering to woman image by Shutterstock

1 DO have an exit strategy

eject

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-131849504/stock-photo-eject-red-and-white-square-web-glossy-icon.html" target="_blank">Eject button image</a> by Shutterstock


Not every good looking lady’s company is worth subjecting yourself to. No matter how hot she is; bad breath, vacuous stupidity and psychotic tendencies aren’t worth it (ehhh…most of the time).

Photo credit: Eject button image by Shutterstock


TAGSArbitrary RankingsDating adviceDating tipsfeaturedhow to meet girlshow to meet womenHow to pick up womenhow to start a conversationListsstarting a conversation with a womanThe Library
Jason Epstein
About Jason Epstein... Jason Epstein is a nationally published freelance writer living in the greater NYC area. He's known for his close friends/good conversations/playing bass/wind in the face/rocking out/reading up/holding it down/good times/turning on dimes/and sometimes trying to rhyme(s). He can be reached at his website and you can follow him on Twitter here.

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