Best Jeopardy Question Ever, “What is a Donkey Punch?”
Watch the Trailer for ‘Casa de Mi padre,’ Will Ferrell’s Spanish...

7 deal breakers on first dates

By 01.17.12

Deal Breakers on First Dates

Couple on Date Image by Shutterstock

No matter how hot your date is, it’s still going to be in the back of your mind whether you can see yourself introducing her to the ‘rents one day down the line. Some things can easily make a date crash and burn and its best to be ready for them to happen, just in case.

Photo credit: Couple on Date Image by Shutterstock

7 Bad Breath
If she opens up her mouth and you can hear a fog horn in the distance, you’re off to a bad start. Women are supposed to smell like flowers and scented oils and sugar and spice from what I gather, so if the idea of kissing her gives you the chills then do the right thing and offer her a fistful of Altoids.

6 Boring as Hell
Have you ever met someone who talks about things that should be really interesting, but in a way that makes you want to plug your ears with superglue? If their stories are delivered with the cadence and emotion of Ben Stein narrating his own awakening from a cryogenic slumber (what?), then move on.

5 The Force of Their Talking is Like a Steamroller
Some women are wonderful listeners and are as interesting as they are interested. Others will talk with such unstoppable momentum that you not only won’t get in a word edge-wise, but you’ll have to hear the same things told in slightly different ways over and over.

4 Unsexy
Sometimes good looks just don’t cut it when she’s exhibiting unsexy qualities such as having a Vader-deep voice, acting painfully awkward or being a little too dominant, eh you know… physically. Loosen up that handshake, killer.

3 Mean to the Servers
This is a pretty good indication of your date’s potential to treat others badly. It speaks of uncaring tendencies and chances are they’re not going to be a good companion, lover or mother. Oh damn, that was harsh!

2 Confesses Reasons Why They Wouldn’t be a Good Girlfriend
Often women will let slip information about themselves that give you a pretty good indication of what a poor girlfriend she’ll be based on your wants and needs. This is a good time to think outside of the moment and to the future. It’s an especially hard red flag to pick up on, because we want to believe that she’s going to change for us once she sees how awesome we are. Fat chance.

1 Reveals a Little Too Much
Oh, you’ve been married three times, like to vacation in Libya and keep a strict vegan, kosher, gluten-free diet? Sounds awesome. I’ll be right back…

Jason Epstein
About Jason Epstein... Jason Epstein is a nationally published freelance writer living in the greater NYC area. He's known for his close friends/good conversations/playing bass/wind in the face/rocking out/reading up/holding it down/good times/turning on dimes/and sometimes trying to rhyme(s). He can be reached at his website and you can follow him on Twitter here.
TAGSArbitrary RankingsDating advicedating deal breakersDating tipsfeaturedFirst date adviceFirst date deal breakersFirst date tipsGuyism LibraryListsThe Library

I want more like this!

Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.

Join The Discussion

Comments are closed.

Sign Up