What your favorite vodka brand says about you

Vodka image by Shutterstock

You can judge a lot about a person based on their choice of intoxicant, and that’s exactly what I did. Here’s what 15 of your favorite vodka brands say about you. I did my best to be kind, as I know you’re all sensitive.

1. McCormick
You’re in a college bar.

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2. Kamchatka
You’re at a frat party.

BeamGlobal

3. Smirnoff
You’re too good for bad vodka but too broke for good vodka.


4. Skyy
You’re a sucker for blue bottles.

pbase

5. Finlandia
You have no idea what you’re doing.

finlandia

6. Ketel One
You love vodka but hate hangovers.

benbartels

7. Grey Goose
You’re in a nightclub.

behand

8. Jazz
You’re an idiot.

nightclub

9. Zoladkowa de Luxe
You’re in Poland.

dragonrouge

10. Pyat Ozer
You’re in Siberia.

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11. Kalashnikov
You play too much Call of Duty.

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12. Svedka
You’re seriously considering getting a sex robot.

thenervousbreakdown

13. Absolut Elyx
You’re obsessed with rye bread.

turbosquid

14. Purity
You drink vodka straight up.

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15. Stoli Elit
You’re my new best friend.

barmaninred