I always feel like a complete degenerate when I drink alone on an airplane. Go ahead to judge me because I’m certainly judging you for doing the same. Here’s what your in-flight beverage says about you.
8 Miller Lite
You’re heading to Vegas and want to walk off the plane drunk. Nothing says, “I’m here to party” like slamming beers by yourself in a 17″ wide vertical coffin. You can justify it with Southwest drink coupons.
7 White Wine
You’re a woman. That may seem sexist, but my imaginary statistic shows that 89% of all White Zinfandel ordered on planes is done so by women. Why? Because men don’t drink wine from mini bottles or plastic cups.
6 Jack & Coke
Jack & Coke
You might have a drinking problem, and you should probably talk to someone about it.
5 Craft Beer
You’re so desperate to check in from the sky on UnTappd that you ordered a beer even though you didn’t want one. You’ll definitely be the coolest beer geek at the baggage carousel though.
You’re in first class so it was free. Aside from a honeymoon flight there’s no other reason you could possibly be poppin’ bottles on an airplane. You’re not Diddy; you’re just a guy that’s going to have a vicious hangover after your first night of vacation.
3 Tomato Juice
You’re a cheapskate. You know damn well you were planning to order a Bloody Mary until you found out that vodka costs extra. Do you even brunch, bro?
2 Johnnie Walker on the Rocks
Johnnie Walker on the Rocks
You’re the classiest GDMF’er on the entire plane. You’re probably wearing a blazer with patches on the elbows and complaining about how people don’t dress up to fly like they used to.
1 Sparkling Water
You’re an asshole.
I want more like this!
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