Find out what your in-flight beverage says about you

wallywine

I always feel like a complete degenerate when I drink alone on an airplane. Go ahead to judge me because I’m certainly judging you for doing the same. Here’s what your in-flight beverage says about you.

8 Miller Lite

Ryan Glenn, Flickr

Miller Lite

You’re heading to Vegas and want to walk off the plane drunk. Nothing says, “I’m here to party” like slamming beers by yourself in a 17″ wide vertical coffin. You can justify it with Southwest drink coupons.

7 White Wine

Walmart

White Wine

You’re a woman. That may seem sexist, but my imaginary statistic shows that 89% of all White Zinfandel ordered on planes is done so by women. Why? Because men don’t drink wine from mini bottles or plastic cups.

6 Jack & Coke

Ownzee


Jack & Coke

You might have a drinking problem, and you should probably talk to someone about it.

5 Craft Beer

Virgin

Craft Beer

You’re so desperate to check in from the sky on UnTappd that you ordered a beer even though you didn’t want one. You’ll definitely be the coolest beer geek at the baggage carousel though.

4 Champagne

myweddingfavors

Champagne

You’re in first class so it was free. Aside from a honeymoon flight there’s no other reason you could possibly be poppin’ bottles on an airplane. You’re not Diddy; you’re just a guy that’s going to have a vicious hangover after your first night of vacation.

3 Tomato Juice

christineinbetween

Tomato Juice

You’re a cheapskate. You know damn well you were planning to order a Bloody Mary until you found out that vodka costs extra. Do you even brunch, bro?

2 Johnnie Walker on the Rocks

wallywine

Johnnie Walker on the Rocks

You’re the classiest GDMF’er on the entire plane. You’re probably wearing a blazer with patches on the elbows and complaining about how people don’t dress up to fly like they used to.

1 Sparkling Water

packworld

Sparkling Water

You’re an asshole.