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What to drink on a diet: 13 spirits with the fewest non-alcohol calories

By 01.23.14

thes4p thes4p

Everyone wants to lose weight in the new year, but none of us are willing to give up drinking. You don’t have to turn to Skinny Girl garbage to get drunk on a diet though. These 13 spirits give you the most booze for your caloric buck.

There’s no such thing as diet liquor because alcohol itself contains calories. The important thing is to make sure what you’re drinking gets the job done efficiently. You want the liquors with the highest percentage of calories from alcohol to ensure you aren’t wasting any of the precious calories you’ve been counting.

12/13. Jose Cuervo

JoseCuervo JoseCuervo

Jose Cuervo Gold/Silver – 99.26% Calories from Alcohol, 96 calories per 1.5 oz.

Have no fear, everyone’s favorite tequila shot is a great choice if you’re trying to get drunk. It’s more prove that single ingredient shots are the only way to go.

11. Monarch Vodka

hrdspirits hrdspirits

Monarch Citron Vodka – 99.26% CFA, 84 calories

The general assumption is that you should drink vodka if you’re on a diet. While works just fine, you’ll see it’s not your only option.

10. Crown Royal

totalwine totalwine

Crown Royal Special Reserve – 99.26% CFA, 96 calories

There’s no reason you can’t drink whisky while dropping pounds. Throw a couple rocks in a glass of brown, and watch the weight fall off

9. Myer’s Rum

thecocktailgeek thecocktailgeek

Myer’s Original Dark Rum – 99.26% CFA, 96 calories

People assume that because rum is often sweet that it’s high in calories. It turns out those people are idiots.

8. Ketel One

KetelOne KetelOne

Ketel One – 99.26% CFA, 96 calories

I used to order Ketel on the Rocks like it was water. My preferences in vodka have changed since then, but it’s good to know my habit was a healthy one.

7. Don Julio

liquorama liquorama

Don Julio Blanco – 99.26% CFA, 96 calories

If you like to sip your tequila instead of shoot it, Don Julio is here for you. Feel free to get drunk guilt-free off this agave juice.

6. Pendleton

PendletonWhisky PendletonWhisky

Pendleton Whisky – 99.26% CFA, 96 calories

The Canadians prove once again that you can drink whiskey on a diet, which is perfect when trying to recover from a poutine binge.

5. Stolichnaya

Stoli Stoli

Stolichnaya – 99.26% CFA, 96 calories
You see plenty of drunk Russians on the internet, but rarely do you see fat one. That’s because they’re all chugging Stoli right from the bottle.

4. Gordon’s Gin

weinquelle weinquelle

Gordon’s Gin – 99.26% CFA, 96 calories
It takes a bigger man than I to drink straight gin, so be sure whatever you’re mixing it with has zero calories or it’s off the list.

3. Absolut

Absolut Absolut

Absolut Vodka – 99.26% CFA, 96 calories

The fine folks at Absolut never let me down. You can chug vodka while admiring Andy Warhol all you want while dieting.

2. Knob Creek

KnobCreek KnobCreek

Knob Creek Bourbon – 99.26% CFA, 120 calories

I’m happy to see my favorite bourbon made the cut. I’m attempting to lose weight, as you can tell, and there’s no way I could give up drinking Knob neat.

1. Everclear

TheBeverageStore TheBeverageStore

Everclear – 99.97% CFA, 226 calories

It may seem like 226 calories is a bad thing, but that’s nearly pure alcohol. You’d need almost 2.5x more of nearly all of the other spirits on the list to be as effective as Everclear. I’m sure the calories are the reason frats love it so much, too.

A few notes
These 13 brands represent the absolute highest percentage of calories from alcohol. Most other spirits aren’t far behind though, as you can see on GetDrunkNotFat. For reference, the highest beer on the list was Natty Ice at 86.49%. Of course none of this matters if you aren’t trying to optimize alcohol.

It should also be noted drinking while losing weight is tough. Alcohol takes priority in your system, so if you’re having a cocktail while eating a burger, even a relatively healthy one, that burger is going to sit until the alcohol is burned up.


Colin Joliat
About Colin Joliat... Colin Joliat is the 2nd best person to ever come from Flint, Michigan, behind only Andre "Bad Moon" Rison. He covers the food & alcohol industries with two parts information, one part comedy, and one part WTF is wrong with this guy. He's currently pretending people care about his new drunken venture, Boozist.
TAGSabsolutalcohol caloriesalcohol with least caloriesbest liquor for dietscolumnsCrown Royaldon julioEvercleargingodon's ginhealthy boozejose cuervoketel oneknob creekmonarch citron vodkamyers dark rumpendleton whiskyrumspiritsStolitequilavodkawhiskeywhisky

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