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12 months of the year and how they fit into your drinking schedule

By / 04.04.12
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Quality, year round drinking exists just as surely as the rise and fall of the sun each day. But each month of the year has its own unique attributes, contributing to the drinker's overall experience. Let's delve into the delicate and majestic rhythm of drinking throughout the year with a look at your drinking schedule. What's your favorite drinking month?

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Happy New Year! After you wake up from your New Year's Day coma, go have some greasy hangover food so you can re-join society as one of its semi-productive members.



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
Martin Luther King Jr. Day, because he had a dream. And although that dream had nothing to do with giving us an extra day to further our weekend drinking, we should strive to make him proud anyhow by practicing both racial tolerance and fortifying our own tolerance for alcohol.

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It's wet with sleet and snow outside and you're sick of it. Luckily, mid-way through February there's a holiday that gives you a brief reprieve from the outside world by forcing you to take stock of your relationship and spend quality time together (according to the laws of popular media). Or it could just make your single ass go all full moon as the other singles at the mixer watch in horror while you turn into some kind of alcohol-fueled, lovelorn beast.



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
I suppose it could be President's Day weekend, but there are too many mattress sales going on that need to be taken advantage of. So, Valentine's Day takes the win.

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March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb, they say. And the same should hold true with drinking. There's not much reason to drink earlier in the month, but holy Irish hell is there a reason on the 17th.



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
St. Patty's Day. It takes you and breaks you so all you have left afterward is a few dollars in your bank account, a few IQ points left and just a whispering shred of dignity. It'll be at least until the end of the month (or you know, the following weekend) until you're able to really put your heart and soul back into drinking.

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Spring break! Whether it's in Florida, Mexico or your local bar, you know the girls will, in fact, be going wild. Still, spring break isn't actually a holiday (and it's not even always in April), so if we have to choose an official drinking day it'd be...



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
...Easter and Passover, because there's nothing like religious holidays with family to get us regressing and repressing by tying one on.

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Fire up the grill, bust out the cooler and throw a block party, because drinking season has begun! May is the beginning of the unofficial summer, and as such, it's when people get truly psyched to start drinking heavily.



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
Memorial Day weekend, fool, so we can memorialize our greatest feats of intoxication.

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This is the month where people begin drinking extra regularly, just because it's warm out and it just feels so right. Good month of June drinking holiday or not, it's the summer and that means backyards, balconies, bonfires, BBQs and booze.



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
Flag day...? I guess?

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One of the biggest drinking days of the year, our Independence Day is full of beer, fireworks, hot dogs and patriotic injuries. If Budweiser could just come out with a red, white and blue bottle, that patriotism would reach 'Merican proportions.



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
It's gotta be America's birthday, the fourth of Joo-lie.

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The month of August is devoid of any real, observed holidays (but if you know of any, I'm all ears). Still, there are plenty of events like festivals, fairs, and summer pub crawls to be done while drunk.



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
If you can find some early Oktoberfest celebrations, don't make excuses; just go.

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Ah, September. The last hurrah before school starts again, the beaches close up and we have to go back to counting down the days until summer begins anew next year. Better get the last of your summer drinking in while you can. Might I suggest a kegger or a kiddie pool full of wine?



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
Labor Day weekend. Drink up and remember all the labor that was done so you could consume large quantities of liquid drunk.

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This is the month that we feel like kids in adult bodies as we indulge in heart-seizing quantities of candy, drink lots of pumpkin-flavored beer, and dress up in clever ways that still make us look like morons. And we don't care one bit, because it's all in the name of a good time.



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
The weekend before Halloween through the weekend after Halloween, including but not limited to, Halloween.

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As soon as the last ghoulish decorations are taken down, the holiday season has begun. The last shred of warmth has now left the earth's atmosphere and it's time to huddle together with some comfort food and drinks in preparation for the long winter ahead.



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
Thanksgiving Eve. You thought I was going to say Thanksgiving, what with all the food and football and celebrating, but the biggest drinking day of the year is actually the night before, when everyone comes back home and has to self-medicate to bear seeing each other yet again.

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Let's celebrate and end the year on a drunk note with the one-two punch of Christmas and New Years Eve!



Quintessential Drinking Holiday -
NYE, or maybe Christmas depending on how much your family love/hates one another.

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TAGSArbitrary Rankingsbest drinking monthsBest months to drinkDrinking by the monthdrinking calendardrinking eventsdrinking holidaysdrinking monthsDrinking schedulefavorite drinking monthfeaturedListsThe Library
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