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8 things to keep off your dating profile

By / 05.29.12


On an online dating profile you’ve got to remember that your goal is, in essence, to “sell” yourself. That’s right, you little whoo-er, WORK IT. So what do you reveal and what do you hide? The answer is a surprising one, in that you should try to steer clear of either since you don’t want to come off too hot or cold. That’s right, what I’m talking about is playing it “cool.” Here are some things you should think twice about before addressing on your dating profile.

8 Your Openness to Casual Sex
Never say, allude to or telepathically broadcast the fact that you’d be down to go to pleasure town on date number one. Casual sex is most often reserved for those who don’t mention it, don’t need it and don’t advertise it. Be discrete and you’ll get between the sheets.

7 Your Abnormal Hobbies

Many women like thrill-seekers, so if you like to go canyoneering or whitewater rafting, go ahead and let them know. But if you’re part of a weekend pacifist’s “Tickle Club” (where the only rule is you DO NOT talk about “Tickle Club”) or have a membership in the “Sublime Society’s Beefsteak Club” (that one seriously exists) then it’s best to keep it to yourself.

6 Your Shirtless Pics

This is kind of a desperate “look at me” attention grabbing technique akin to a girl taking a pic of her cleavage that has a smiley face drawn over it instead of a picture of her face. As wondrous as that may sound to us, the difference is that women are a lot less attracted to that kind of visual stimuli than men. So keep it about your face and smile and personality and leave the shirtless pics to the fist pumpers.

5 Your Weird Sense of Humor

I know you want to appeal to the ladies’ comedy-seeking side by making as many jokes as possible to get her laughing all the way to the ‘send’ button, but the more normal you keep your jokes and commentary, the better for attracting a larger pool of women and then narrowing it down later. So, refrain from telling inappropriate anecdotes about your last relationship or how you use your cat as a pillow at night, weirdo.

4 Your Self Deprecation

If you’re gonna be hard on yourself, then wait til’ you’ve already won over a girl to do it. Moderation is usually best for this type of behavior. Keep your complaints to yourself and comment on your strengths as they apply to your life and your relationships and then you can feel free to make fun of yourself later.

3 Your Frustration with Dating in General

We all know what a pain in the ass dating can be. You’ve got your flakes, your sluts, your weirdos, your spaz’s, your princesses and a whole host of other chicks who basically need to re-evaluate their entire personalities and belief systems. But don’t talk about how hard it is to date, or how you just wish you had a girlfriend. The more positive you seem about getting out there and meeting the right one, the more confidence you’ll inspire in that right person.

2 Your Baggage

Life got you down? Things pretty tough on ya? Well, you’re going to perpetuate all that negativity the more your broadcast it both online and off. A dating profile is the last place you want to harp on life’s hardships.

1 Your Family Problems

Most women want to be with a man they can see being a good father and role model for the family. If you don’t get along with a family that you’re a part of, then how will you function within a family you’re the head of? So, if you don’t get along with your parents or siblings it’s best to keep that from tainting an otherwise successful look at the real you.

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Jason Epstein
About Jason Epstein... Jason Epstein is a nationally published freelance writer living in the greater NYC area. He's known for his close friends/good conversations/playing bass/wind in the face/rocking out/reading up/holding it down/good times/turning on dimes/and sometimes trying to rhyme(s). He can be reached at his website and you can follow him on Twitter here.

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