Summer is here, and after spending all winter feeling like a prisoner in a Siberian camp, it’s only natural that people want to cut loose and have some fun without worrying about freezing to death. Unfortunately, the last several years have not been kind on the economic front, and so big, splashy vacations are out for many people, but that just means that you have to get a little more creative. Find a way to stretch that dollar – or better yet, to not to even have to spend it in the first place – and most importantly, have fun without having to worry about how much it costs with one of these nine great ways to have summer fun on the cheap.
9. Bonfire
Nothing is better on a summer night than getting your friends together, getting a big-ass fire going in someone’s back yard and just getting rip-roaring drunk. Sure, at some point you’ll have to worry about one of your dumbass friends starting a wildfire that will end up with you getting evacuated by a helicopter, but hey, chopper rides are something you’ll never forget. Just be careful when you’re putting that bonfire out at the end of a night. Because I’m a dude, I understand that this will involve a bunch of you attempting to extinguish it with copious amounts of piss, but pissing into a giant fire while stumbling around drunk is a good way to baconize your dong, and no one needs that. The activity is cheap. But if you’re not careful, the medical bills and humiliation will last a lifetime.
8. Camping
Take that bonfire idea to the next level by gathering your friends and heading out the middle of nowhere. You don’t have to worry about anyone driving home at the end of the night, a nice tent city encourages all manner of debauchery, and the only one around to harass you for miles and miles is that asshole Bigfoot. Make as much noise as you want, get as hammered as is humanly possible, and then go splash around in a lake in the morning to ease your hangover. All it should cost is a camping permit fee and gas money (well, and “supplies”), but spread amongst your friends, it should be almost no cost at all. Just don’t try to get the bears drunk. They get mean.
7. River Canoeing
This is kind of an offshoot of the whole camping idea. You get a bunch of friends together, load up a cooler, and head downriver in a boat. It doesn’t even matter if you suck and have never paddled a canoe in your life. That is a big part of the fun of it. There is a special joy in watching your idiot drunk friends tip over, and at some point at least one of you will decide to play Jaws, jump in and tip your bros and lady bros into the river. And at the end of the day, you can drag your tired ass onto shore and enjoy the camping experience too. Just choose your river wisely. No one wants to be the idiot who got hammered and then drowned in the Colorado River. A nice, meandering river is all you need.
6. Go Fishing
Look, I’ll admit it, this depends on your idea of fun. But for a nice, relaxing day outdoors, it’s hard to beat fishing. You pretty much just sit in a boat all day, get drunk and pretend to catch fish. Sure, that’s not the most exciting activity, but it’s a meditative experience that’s hard to find anywhere else. There’s just a certain magic that fishing has, a hold over a dude’s soul that is primal and unexplainable. You don’t have to catch anything, you don’t even have to talk to anyone. You can just disconnect for a few hours, and allow yourself to be. It is the Zen of fishing.
5. Break Out the Sprinkler
Summer is hot, and that heat can get downright miserable, and I understand that not everyone can make it to the beach, or knows someone with a pool, but a good sprinkler is really all you need to cool off and have fun. You don’t have to just sit there though. No, you can make your own slip and slide, or hell, use it as an excuse to wash the car while staying cool. The point is, is that the sprinkler is just a tool. Use your imagination, get some girls over, find a way to have fun. This isn’t complicated.
4. Water Balloon War
This is childish as hell, but who cares? It’s also fun as hell. And all it costs is a package of cheap balloons. Divide into teams or engage in an every dude and lady dude for themselves war to the finish. If you can’t have fun in a water balloon war, you can’t have fun period. Just make sure no one goes nuclear and starts filling the balloons with piss. That’s when the fun stops and ass beatings begin.
3. Throw a Block Party
Get your neighbors together and throw a giant block party. Let it get out of control. Accept that the cops will probably come two or three times before they finally shut the whole thing down. Just let yourself go with the flow. Sure, the alcohol for that many people will be expensive, but if you divide it up and then charge people a couple of bucks each, you can probably find a way to break even. Just make sure that all of your neighbors are in on it. You don’t want the whole thing falling apart just because the church lady who lives across the street thinks you’re going to hell for doing body shots off of some stranger that wandered into the party zone.
2. Beer Festival
No matter where you are, you can probably find a half-decent summer beer festival somewhere nearby. And do I really need to explain this one to you? I mean the word “beer” is right in the title.
1. Spend the Day at the Beach
Look, I’m going to be honest with you, I am totally biased. That’s because the beach is my own personal Mecca. I love everything about it (well, those heinous seagulls aside…) and nothing is the symbol of summer more than the beach. It is the perfect way to spend a summer day. It’s basically several activities in one. You can do just about anything at the beach – play sports with your friends, camp, party a little, go swimming, or just lay back and bask in the sunshine. You don’t have to worry about getting overheated because there’s a massive natural pool right there, and everyone is half-naked already. Sure, sometimes you have to fight off hordes of families and fat dudes in Speedos, but that just means that you need to choose your beach wisely. To me, the beach is church – the most fun and most relaxed church on the planet – and really, the beach can be anything you want it to be. And guess what? It’s free.
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Man in pool image by Shutterstock
Sprinkler image by Shutterstock
Woman on beach image by Shutterstock