Anyone else catch The Today's Show's regurgitation of BuzzFeed's "21 Best (Worst) Halloween Pun Costumes" this morning? If so, you missed a big, fat, veiny dildo on network television. GASP! Cue the feigned moral outrage from Gretchen Carlson and her "Fox and Friends" posse in 3... 2... 1... Two things to note here: 1.) How genius is this costume? 2.) How many squeamish moms had to explain why there was a long, white cucumber on the nightstand while rushing out the door? The fun begins at the :53 mark.

This guy needs to win a prize for this costume. Commit it to memory:

Props: Dean