As in many places around our great country, the good people of San Diego were fired up for a fireworks extravaganza last night. To say the left the show disappointed would be an understatement.

Due to a glitch, all the pyrotechnics were set off at once – and five minutes before the show was scheduled to begin.

The resulting 15-second jamboree was slightly less satisfying than the 18-minute display the hordes were expecting.

Interestingly enough, this is exactly how my first sexual foray went. Yours too, probably.