"Fifty Shades of Grey" is the newest romance novel that all the ladies are feverishly rubbing their naughty bits to, in fact there's a good chance that your nana is getting off to it right now. The erotic book is No. 1 on USA TODAY's Best-Selling Books list and the trilogy of mommy p*rn novels have sold more than three million copies. 

Gilbert Gottfried jumped on popularity of the novels and hilariously narrated the "50 Shades of Grey" audiobooks as only he can. If hearing the Aflac duck yak on how he wants to violently shove his clenched fist up a woman's birth canal doesn't get you excited, than I don't know what will. Hopefully Gilbert is a smart enough man to only sext his wife instead of trying to use dirty talk to seduce her because I imagine it would instantly dry out her dugout.