Look, we've followed this story with an-almost New York Times level of detail. It has everything: Twists, turns, sex, high-ranking military officials, possible governmental conspiracy, sex, the CIA, jealous lovers, sex.

However, even we are not totally sure what's going on in the Taiwanese animation of the David Petraeus affair. Maybe even they realized that they had, on their hands, something unable to really be explained. Maybe they found out that the real story is even wilder than whatever they could animate. Maybe the Petraeus affair is what broke our greatest commentator on American culture.

(In other news, Call of Duty: Black Ops II came out today, and in the 2025 version of the game, Petraeus is Secretary of Defense. Awkward.)