Welcome to Noteworthy Text Histories, a new weekly column in which we present to you the completely real, totally non-fake text conversations between famous historical figures and the members of their super-posse. First up, we have the Honest Bro himself, President Abraham Lincoln. Here, we've extracted some texts from the HOV, Willy Wonka, and some choice others. 

Perhaps more importantly, this unprecedented access to the 16th President's private life also gives us some new, shocking insight as to why he might've been assassinated.

(Note: The 1865 version of the iPhone switched up the text positioning, meaning Abe's dialogue is always on the LEFT. Some of the convos are two slides long.)