... And got caught! Zing. Holiday shopping really does bring out the
most repulsively obese people on the planet worst in everyone. And this is the type of awful, heinous shit that happens when you let your body balloon into a mutant, deep-fried blob: First you're broke because you're spending all your money on Supersized Big Macs "Value" meals and KFC Double Downs from the drive-thru. Before you know it, you're trying to jack $2,600 worth of store merchandise from an Oklahoma TJ Maxx by stuffing all your stolen booty (no pun intended) into the dark, sweaty canyons hidden between your mountainous blubber rolls. As if your life hasn't already hit the shitter (because, remember, you're stealing XXXL panties your 400-pound ass can fit into), you're arrested for felony shoplifting. That's pretty much what happened to Ailene Brown and Shmeco Thomas, who took four pair of boots, three pair of jeans, a wallet, and gloves and used their blimp-sized bodies to conceal the goods. Make sure to do a few reps of sit-ups before watching the local news report below.