Life
by The Infallible Bro on December 12, 2013

Anything Emo.

This means clothes, facial expressions, accessories, etc. So you hate your life. People that don’t know you should at least be able to think you don’t suck.

Too many girls.

It’s great that you do well with the ladies, but after a certain point it’s just overkill and looks sort of fake. Anyone can take a picture next to a bunch of hot girls. Besides, if you’re single, that’s the last single a prospective slam piece wants to see.

Ugly girls.

Everyone’s definition of ugly is different, but if someone sort of cringes when they see the picture of the person in photo next to you, chances are you should swap that shit real quick. Most bros I know sift through pictures and untag themselves if they look bad (for as uncommon as that may be) or if the person is unfortunate on their own.

Shirt off or flexing.

We already covered selfies a few weeks ago. I don’t give a fuck if you are a CrossFit badass, no one else cares and no one likes looking at it. I’m in shape and I like looking at myself in the mirror, but I’d never take a picture of it. Fucking pathetic.

Not be in the picture

Why would you NOT have a picture of yourself on Facebook? That’s the whole point. Okay, so there’s some world-wide benefit that has people put a picture up or its doppelganger day or some shit. Maybe. But any other day get your shit together.

Drinking.

 Everyone goes to the bar. You aren’t special. It’s one thing if it’s a candid picture of you have a good time with friends. But when you’re standing in an empty field with 5 other dudes while playing with yourself and a beer in hand. If you are taking pictures of kegstands do everyone a favor and go play in traffic.

Duckface.

If a dude has a duckface in his picture he seriously needs to re-evaluate his life decisions. And girls, that shit is only attractive on broads that were cute before they took the stupid picture. Nevermind, just quit it before I can call you out.
PDA – Sometimes girls think pictures are cute or romantic or whatever. While that may be valid if you had a vagina, you are a bro, and it’s not cute. I’m not one of those bitter bros in a bad relationship nor am I a single bro. I just know that there’s a fine line between a relationship that people want and one that we loathe. Don’t be that guy.

Gang signs.

Hell, even putting a thumbs up isn’t cool. You sure as shit aren’t from Compton and if you are, there’s a good chance you aren’t doing that shit in your Facebook default. It’s mainly just white people that either actually think they are black or are so white that they can’t help being a complete goof.

Action shots.

Sometimes they can be pretty awesome, but if it’s for the sole reason of trying to make yourself look like some sort of Greek god, then you’re better off with the dramatics. Pictures of you being awesome at sports aren’t needed. If you’re a true bro then that should be a given.

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