What’s the weirdest thing you have ever said to a woman before or after sex? Think about it. Was it kinky? Was it creepy? Was it, “I’m really not that into black girls usually. I mean, let’s be honest: I’m probably just attracted to your white half?”
That last one is actually something a guy said to one of the chicks on Reddit who joined in to reveal the weirdest thing guys have said to them after sex. Here are some of the highlights (lowlights?).
“Your asshole has gotten hairy since you’ve been pregnant.” I was 30 weeks pregnant, and he said this literally 10 seconds after sex was finished.
He was looking at me and said “You know, I wanted to keep doing this regularly but you reeeeeally look alot like my sister.. I know that is so creepy and I’m sorry.. pause I’m sure we could work around it though.”
He’d just finished and I hadn’t, he rolled over and said: ‘you know my ex always used to orgasm 10 times’ What do you say to that?
“Do you think I should wipe my butt better? Could you smell it? I figured since we were naked you maybe could.”
Internal monologue bro, internal.
One of the first times I had done anal.. after we finish, he pulls out and just sort of says, “Oh god,” under his breath. There was a perfect little Hershey kiss of poo on the tip of his dick. Paranoid after every anal session now..
I’d hooked up with this guy a few times before. I gave him a blowjob, I swallowed, assuming at this point, we’re kinda close. No big deal. IMMEDIATELY after I swallowed, he looked at me and said, “That’s disgusting”.
Technically this didn’t happen after sex so much as after trying to have sex. He couldn’t get it up and just looked at me and said, “I just don’t like your body that much.”
I once dated a guy who would ask me how many times I came after shoving three dry fingers into my virgin vagina. Zero. Zero is the answer to that.
He also thought he was a sex god and always told me how good he was going to make me feel since he was “so much more experienced than me.”
he went a little too far choking me and I blacked out for a couple seconds. It was okay, whatever we got over it, we laughed about it. But then when we were finished he said “even if you died just there I wouldnt have stopped f*cking your body till i was finished.”
My boyfriend said to me after he came really hard once, “aaand you just got pregnant.” We had only been together for a few months so it threw me off. Now it’s hilarious.
I farted while we were doing it. It was a full bodied fart too. He was on top and there was a fan on. I felt mortified. His nonchalant response was: *sniff sniff “smells like ham”
Jesus Christ. Men. We are a phenomenal species, aren’t we?
However, we’re not alone, because one chick revealed something she said once and it is SUBLIME.
The first time I had sex with my husband, I felt like my vag was dilated because I was so horny. I blurted out “Fuck me, I’m gaping.” 3 years later and he still makes fun of me.
Gaping. Such a fine way to utilize that word.