So how was your Thanksgiving? I'm sure you ate enough turkey and stuffing that you looked like the gluttony obese victim from the movie "Se7en." Your Aunt Muriel probably talked your ear off about how her rheumatoid arthritis is so bad now that she can hardly plant her petunias and wants you to come over to help. So did a hot 23-year-old woman rape you? No? You should have gone to Thanksgiving at this family's house.
Meet Amanda Billiris, a Texas woman who was arrested for getting her turkey stuffed by her 15-year-old nephew on Thanksgiving Day. Apparently relatives caught Billiris "raping" the young boy during the Thanksgiving festivities. Billiris has been charged with sexual assault of a child, a second-degree felony. If convicted, she faces two to 20 years in prison, according to the Texas Penal Code. Based on the attractiveness of Amanda, I can't confidently say that this is a rape case, like I'm sure technically it is, but c'mon you're not exactly feeling sorry for the "victim." Ms. Billaris may also be fined up to $10,000 if she is found guilty. Billiris has been released on bond from the Montgomery County Jail. The best thing I ever got from my aunt was an Optimus Prime action figure, I feel gypped.