New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg will probably offer this guy a multimillion dollar deal to take on BIG SODA within a couple of days.

William Kennewell, an Australian cola addict, has literally drunk himself into oblivion. His six-to-eight liter a day habit caused tooth decay so ferocious it gave him blood poisoning and left him without his chompers.

He has a perfectly logical explanation for how this happened.

"It started because I wasn't a huge water fan and working in the hotel industry, I had easy access to Coke.

Oh shit, you’re not a water fan? Now it all makes perfect sense.

[H/T: New York Daily News]