Every time I hear the word ‘YOLO’ my body cringes and I’m forced to hate Drake that much more. It’s not only the stupidest acronym ever created; it may very well be the end of human existence. Last week, 21 year old aspiring rapper Ervin McKinness tweeted, “Drunk af going 120 drifting corners #F*ckIt YOLO” Minutes later he died in a car crash. While his behavior was foolish, irresponsible and so many adjectives that describe STUPID, I think we can put part of the blame on YOLO because of the sheer recklessness it promotes. I know a lot of you are going to read this and be like, “Get off YOLO’s back dude, it’s a true thing because you only live once and it’s cool cuz everyone else is saying it and YOLO had nothing to do with him being an idiot.” I agree that his irresponsible behavior is probably worthy of a Darwin Award but I will hold firm that YOLO was the reassurance that ‘Acting a fool’ was okay moments before his death.
At this rate, it’s only a matter of time before YOLO replaces the 5th amendment. As silly as that sounds, it’s not too far fetched. We are a non-conventional generation almost to a fault and the way we follow trends, why couldn’t it happen? This is a scenario that will 100% occur within the next 50 years:
Judge: Sir you have been charged with legitimate rape, how do you plea?
Defendant: Well sir after seein’ ‘Dat ass’ I couldn’t help it… I plea the YOLO.
Judge: Why didn’t you say something earlier HAHA you only live once! Give this man a hooker and some meth!
YOLO is a terrifying mentality and yet we decorate it in neon on our shirts and shout it at the top of our lungs at bars telling the world how much we don’t give a f*ck, but at the end of the day we do give a f*ck and that’s why we conform to the stupidity that YOLO has brought out in all of us. I don’t want to be an Ervin McKinness, I don’t want my obituary to read, “Aristotle Georgeson was a good son and an average comedian who died because of YOLO. He is survived by no one because he had no f*cks to give.” Next time you are about to shout YOLO or wear a neon shirt that says YOLO, think about this article and then find the nearest pool to drown yourself in because YOLO. No but seriously stop saying it, it’s really annoying and all you’re doing is promoting Drake’s terrible rapping.
Aristotle is a Florida based comedian who thinks that Drake is the Nickelback of the rap game. You can follow him on Twitter @sToTle.