Life
by Jordan Mooney on November 17, 2012

Having a threesome is the ultimate bragging point, except for a foursome, I guess. Anyway, the question is; why is it so highly regarded? Has it always been that way, is it a new phenomenon with porn becoming such a big industry the past few decades? I don’t know honestly, I’m not old enough to answer that. The fact is, it’s the pinnacle of sexual exploit, but should it be?

Yes, a two girl blowjob is unbeatable. In that case, two is definitely better than one. Once you move past that though, things become murkier. Is two still better than one when you only have one for two? What I mean is, of your two options, one is going to be better than the other, and unless you were born in Chernobyl, you can’t have both at the same time. Obviously, given this situation, we’ll choose the better option, but we also can’t completely ignore the second and less desirable one. This means that at least occasionally, we have to give up driving the Porsche to drive the Toyota, even though the Porsche is still running with its driver’s door open. Note that I’m not talking about looks here, more like feel. No offense to anyone that literally drives a Toyota by the way. The ones with working brakes are great little cars.

Now, that’s assuming all threesomes are created equal, and they’re not. There are cases where a girlfriend will agree to it and bring a friend along, but certain ground rules will be applied, like no penetration with the friend. That simplifies things, and in that case, none of this really applies; it’s a bitch though. Just dangle that carrot right in front of me, why don’t ya?

Back to the more spontaneous version though, where you’re left with getting two girls off instead of one. One can be hard enough at times, but two? You’re so damn busy working at it that you forget to enjoy the moment. The ultimate stress reliever becomes the ultimate source of stress. Unless you’re just a selfish prick and couldn’t care less. If that’s you, then good luck to you down the road when you can never get a repeat performance with a girl and the new ones begin to dry up. Way to go, Romeo.

I’m not saying that a threesome is a terrible thing by any means, or even that you shouldn’t give your best effort to have one. What I am saying, is that even though it’s awesome, it’s put on a pedestal. Don’t put the pussy, or in this case, pussies, on a pedestal, guys. Just let it come to you. If not, and you’re going to go out there and put real effort into attaining this badge of honor, consider yourself warned: it’s not a bed of roses. Oh, having sex on a bed of roses, that’s next on the list!

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