She’s that girl you’ve had your eye on for months. She’s the girl that you text on a Friday night before you’ve even started drinking. The girl that you’re actually listening to at the bar as you order her another tequila shot. She laughs at your stupid jokes and seems interested in that story about your brother’s dog but at the end of the night, she’s hopping in a cab with her roommates. Is she just a tease? Have you been friend-zoned? Why is she going home to her empty bed every night when you’ve saved her a seat on the bus to Pound Town (other than the fact that you have hair like Sisqo)?
The thrill of the race is in the chase. You’ve made it too easy for her, she’s knows that you want her and she’s bored already. You don’t throw that extra 10 pounds on your barbell at the gym because it’s easy; you do it to challenge yourself. Well think of yourself as a barbell, she wants the shiny, heavy barbell that has been ignoring her all week and not the one in her hands. The easiest way to put yourself back on her radar is being what I like to call “the charming asshole”. This is a perfected artistry, you have to be confident and charismatic, but teeter on being selfish and self-absorbed. You don’t want her to think you’re an ill-mannered inconsiderate prick, you just want her to think that she’s not your main concern. When she realizes she’s not the only girl you’re paying attention to at the bar, it becomes a challenge and you become the prize.
But then there’s that guy who can’t stop talking about other girls. It’s one thing to talk TO other girls but it’s another thing to talk ABOUT other girls. You don’t ever want to do that. Like, ever.
I know it may seem like us women are shallow, wine-gulping, picky, judgmental bitches but sometimes we just know when we don’t click with someone. Personality plays a huge part in choosing the guys we sleep with. Probably because we’re hoping that it will turn into something more than just sex. It seems crazy but a lot of girls believe that sex can lead to relationships, that somehow it will bring you two close enough to realize that she’s more than just a pretty thing with orifices to stick your dick in. So if she doesn’t feel like you’re someone that she could see herself falling for, it could be the reason she hasn’t leaped into bed with you.
On the other hand, she could have already fallen for you. Girls are funny how they don’t want to be used for sex. If she really likes you, it’s possible that she’s afraid that giving up the goods to you just shows that she’s like any other girl. But don’t be too quick to lump yourself into this category, it’s a very select group.
And now comes that dreaded f-bomb… The “friend-zone.” She sees you as a brotherly figure she can complain to instead of man candy that she can canoodle with. It’s hard to feel sexy when we know you’ve seen us post-breakup, snot-nosed, puffy and pathetic or watched us a hug a toilet after too many shots of fireball. Regardless of how good the sex can be or once was, sleeping with someone that you feel brotherly towards doesn’t usually get us excited in our nether regions. That’s not to say that with a couple of margaritas and some coaxing, we’re invincible but it’s likely going to be a one-hit wonder kind of night.
As women, we know your ultimate goal is to sleep with us. Whether you’re 18 or you’re 28, even if that’s not the only thing you want from us, we know it’s definitely on the list. But women like to think all good ideas are their ideas. So pursue her but keep your options open and at the end of the night let her decide whether to jump in the cab back to your place.