Stumbling through my newsfeed, I was pleasantly surprised to see that BroBible posted an article entitled “Why I’m a Gay Bro, and Why You Should Be Friends with One.” However, I wrongly assumed that this article would be a courageous attempt to shatter the heteronormativity associated with “bro” and “frat” culture. While I greatly admire Tucker Bradford’s efforts to open Pandora’s box about homosexuality in the bro world and BroBible’s attempts to join the politically correct bandwagon, Bradford’s justification of why bros should be friends with “bromos” is downright problematic and offensive.
Rather than attempting to argue that straight bros should be open to being friends with other queer bros for the same reasons that they choose to be friends with anyone else, such as common interests, like nunchuck skills, computer hacking skills, etc, he, moreover, argues that straight bros should be friends with “bromos” because of their potentially beneficial qualities. According to Bradford, it’s “safe” for hetero bros to be friends with “straight acting” gay bros because they can act as good wingmen and can give them fashion tips. Gee, isn’t that something! I forgot that all gay people have the exact same skills and personality traits! Tucker, if I didn’t make it clear, the assumption that all gay men are stylish fashionistos who want to swoop in, pardon me, HAVE A DUTY to swoop in and help fellow straight bros from fashion catastrophes is offensive and as outdated as Nelly’s 2002 band aid. Bros should accept “bromos” not because they can be used for their material advantages, unless that’s how you choose all of your friends, and in which case you’re a sociopathic asshole, but because they’re exactly the same as their heterosexual counterparts. If you don’t befriend straight bros based on their potential material advantages, long live capitalism and God Bless America, then don’t hold gay bros to different standards.
This article is also problematic through its assertion that it’s, more or less, only acceptable for bros to be with friends with gay bros who are hyper masculine and conform to “straight” standards rather than those who act “flamboyantly.” Just because a bro’s jeans are tighter than your sister’s doesn’t mean he can’t whoop your ass in GTA! Bottom line, the real reason why you should be friends with a “Gay Bro” is the same as the reason why you’re friends with any bro.
I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school… I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy…
Sincerely,
A White Straight Male Republican (I’m serious)
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