Children suck. They shit everywhere, rely on you to feed them and THEN, on top of ALL OF THAT, you have to go and make sure they don’t grow up to be homeless losers who try and rely on you and your hard-earned cash for the rest of their lives. You know how much diapers cost? Too much. If I ever get stuck giving birth to some sort of human it’s not gonna get diapers, it’s just gonna shit wherever it happens to be standing and live in the back yard. Yeah, like I want child poo all over my house. Fuck that noise.