Life
by Steve Coulter on June 27, 2014

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None of us have escaped the Age of Technology without spilling blood somewhere along the road.

Whether it be a relationship or just a fuck buddy, having a cell phone has worked at your disadvantage at least one — and, for most of us, it’s been more than one.

Now, I don’t mean actual bloodshed has came from this dependency on technology; rather, communication has disintegrated to the point that breakdowns have become so commonplace that you’re guaranteed to experience one or more with every female you interact with at some point.

The result is a series of confused reactions that would be completely abated if you just picked up and dialed the person rather than text them.

But no, that would require way too much hard work to become the norm so, predictably, texting will continue to rule the day when it comes to communicating with the opposite gender.

However, here are five situations where you still MUST call her and not text:

1. Interest Declining

If you sense that her interest in you is declining to the point where she might be seeing other guys on the nights you’re not together, then it’s probably a good time to get off your ass and make a phone call. Stop trying to be the cool hardo kid that puts in limited effort with females and doesn’t give two fucks about anything in life.

At the end of the day, if we can all on about one thing it’s that we like getting laid. That won’t be happening for much longer if you refuse to put forth the most minimal of effort to call her and ask how her day is going. I know, it sounds like a daunting challenge but it really could salvage whatever it is that you have going with her.

On the other end of the spectrum, if you want to get rid of her, then by all means: keep texting and don’t send her any mixed messages that you care enough to call.

2. Dispute

Couples that try to settle arguments through text messaging always provide great entertainment — it’s like watching a train wreck happen in slow motion. I’d be lying if I said they brought me any real enjoyment though. Ultimately, they just piss me off like no other situation I can think of, but I digress.

If you’re in a relationship with a chick and you’re going back and forth bantering about something serious, then its a good idea just to give her a call and try to make amends like people did for the last 100 years — by talking to one another. I understand that we live in a more advanced, higher paced world today, but that doesn’t mean we should eschew the basic foundations of human communication.

Abandoning face-to-face or voice-to-voice conversations is a dangerous idea for a plethora of reasons. Chiefly, it eliminates the ability to actually clarify what you meant in text messages, which continuously fail to convey parts of speech like sarcasm. Imagine living in a world where what you texted a friend – not even a girlfriend – would be the end-all and be-all? You’d probably have a lot less friends.

Yes, texting is ultra convenient and absolutely more efficient then waiting for someone to call you back, but if you’re already engaged in a spat, then chances are that person will answer your call. If they don’t, then it really just highlights their level of maturity and might be the green light for you to move on.

Seriously, who in the hell would want to just keep arguing through text when the option of dialing them and talking it out is equally available?

3. Distance/Travel

This one seems obvious but you’d be surprised how many long distance relationships are held together through text, not through standard phone conversations. Not only does this constant communication — from sunrise to sun down — dilute any element of surprise, it also makes talking to that person mundane to the point where there isn’t even a conversation taking place; rather, just a Twitter-like news feed of updates.

“I went to the mall today,” “I had drinks with Chris after work,” “I’m waking up at 6 tomorrow for my class” — enough already! It’s enough to make me sick just thinking about it.

Last point here, I promise: if your significant other is traveling — it could be as close as Kansas City or as far as Beijing, then it’s a good idea to call them and make sure everything is OK. Not only are they extremely lonely and vulnerable, and want to be reminded that someone cares for them back home, but there’s also the offhand chance they’re in a situation that is making them feel uncomfortable.

Which brings me to…

4. Distress

If you happen to be feeling uncomfortable — say, walking down a dark city street at two in the morning, then it’s probably not the worst idea to give her a call. Will she be irked? Yes, if she’s sleeping, but I’m sure she’d understand your circumstances. After all, if the roles were reversed, and she was the one calling you, then you’d probably not think much of it and answer her call.

Now, I’m not saying all guys should depend on calling their girlfriends when they get scared, but when they get scared ENOUGH, to the point where they think a mugging is imminent, then it’s a situation where a call will do you a lot more good then a text message. What is she going to be able to tell the cops if the worst does happen? “The last I heard from him he texted me: about to be robed, I’ll talk to you later.”

That doesn’t really help narrow down the list of suspects and it certainly doesn’t say where you are. A call will not only cover both of those in a matter of seconds, it will also give her and the cops a legitimate reason to be concerned; whereas, with a text, it could easily be misread as a prank.

5. Family Time (Holidays)

I can’t stress this one enough — if it is a major holiday, like Christmas, you call your girlfriend, your booty call or even the chick two doors down from you that gives you the eye occasionally and your semi-interested in. Why? Because she’s 100% going to be with her family and she, like the rest of us, will welcome the break from the constant dialogue with the relatives.

Most importantly, like calling her and asking her how her day went, this will earn you major brownie points and show her that you really care. In all honesty, any dingbat with thumbs can text a female to wish her a happy Thanksgiving, but you can really separate yourself from the crowd with a phone call on a major holiday or even when she’s just stuck with family for the weekend.

Even if she doesn’t answer, the effort is what matters here — not the results, which are practically guaranteed the next time you see her.

[Image via ShutterStock]

Steve Coulter

About Steve Coulter...

Steve Coulter is a freelance write for BroBible. He compulsively spends entire paychecks to travel and see live sports, which only hemorrhages more money from his depleted bank account. In his down time, he watches too much TV and contemplates everything that's wrong with the world.