Whenever my wifi goes down I crawl under my bed in fear that the outside world will try and make contact then somehow force me to actually leave my room. In other words, I’ve become to glued to my laptop that the notion of leaving it makes me wet myself. Oh great, writing that made me think about it. Now I need to change my shorts. Dammit. At least it’s nice to know I’m not the only one out in the world who gets “standing” mixed up with “jogging,” although I’m still not 100% sure of the difference.