The broad, yet simple truth behind gender relations is that men and women are different in an uncountable number of ways. With that being said, it's surprising how similar their goals are in a gym setting — both parties want to get more toned, more strength, and more fit with the men usually opting for free weights and the women opting for the ellipticals.
Most importantly though, we are both trying to stay attractive for the opposite sex and any male or female that tells you otherwise is lying. Even if they are happily married, or in a serious relationship of five-plus years, women torture their bodies the same way men do — with somebody else in mind. Sure, both genders go to the gym to feel better physically and mentally, but the rigor in which one puts themselves through is in direct correlation to sexual gratification. While most will deny this masochist theme of working out, it is the hidden and unspoken truth we all know exists — gyms are meant to increase libidos.
No matter how concentrated you are on your workout, it's almost impossible not to check out members of the opposite sex flaunting their tight bodies around the gym. Men stare at women, and vice versa. It happens, so please don't pretend it doesn't.
If you're a male like myself, you've more than likely been caught looking at some chick as she works out and, even though you paused for only a brief moment, in that second a million thoughts went through your head. Most prominently, what is she like in bed? All other questions, of course, are secondary.
Wouldn't it be nice to know exactly what a girls workout strategy says about her sexual prowess in the sack, along with other variables (insecurity level, dating history, etc.) that could prove to be important at some point in the future.
Well, fortunately for you, I have came up with such a guide:
Girls who like to run tend to avoid doing it at the gym, so you're not actually allowed to even gawk at these fitness freaks; however, the ones that sign up for a gym membership to do an activity one can do on any road in America are saying a lot without even opening their mouths. First of all, girls who run in the gym want to prove they are physically fit enough to run on a tread mill for more than 15 minutes. Whether it's for us to notice or for their own self-approval is a moot point, because these chicks are the ones that are usually insanely insecure with their bodies and not calm enough to just go do yoga. In other words, they have an edge they are looking to burn off and that edge symbolizes that there's baggage somewhere. It could be her former boyfriend treated her poorly or that she used to be the fat girl in high school.
Speaking of that fat girl from high school, tread mills at gyms are where they live nowadays so beware and proceed with caution if you're thinking of talking to a chick who just got done with her daily run. She might not last as long in bed as you'd think.
As for the fitness freaks who run outside and nowhere near a tread mill, they are the creme de la creme of women. Usually, and I stress usually because this isn't the case for all of them, they are level-headed and not insecure. Furthermore, they tend to already have great bodies and display them with a cool confidence that isn't stand-offish.
Most importantly though, the girl who runs seven miles in the park is a cardiac warrior (obviously) and have an extremely active libido. Translation: she has a great sexual endurance and she has the potential to be a sex freak, but in a good way. I don't know if this is your type, but it's definitely mine.
"Whew. That took no effort whatsoeverrrrrr"
I'm convinced this machine was built for the stand-off type, who, like the outdoor runner, knows she has a great body and is working out only to keep her ass tight and her legs firm. Otherwise, she could care less. She isn't look for attention and in fact, she's the type that when you look over to stare for even a second, she notices and glares back at you with furious disdain. Perhaps the biggest commonality amongst women who work out on the elliptical is the fact they are not available. These women are extremely comfortable with doing the least rigorous workout possible because they are a.) confident they look good b.) already have a man in their life.
Go ahead and try to talk to one if you have no fear of rejection, but you've been warned to stay away.
The ultimate stay away if you're a gym-rat looking at chicks to go up to talk with. This chick encompasses a multitude of unlikable characteristics, including independent, self-conscious and lazy (seriously, who needs a guide to tell them what to do at the gym?).
All these traits equal one thing — "hands off me, I do my own thing." These are the type of women who feel entitled and are extremely hard to close on in a social setting.
She use phrases like "I have a personal trainer" in public to scare off men, because in reality that's exactly what she wants to do, otherwise she wouldn't boast about it like it's some great accomplishment to spend a fifth of her paycheck for Marcus at Planet Fitness to tone her flabby arms.
Also, not that money should matter when it comes to sex, but if she's willing to drop $75 a week on a personal trainer, she is more than likely going to expect for you to drop significant amounts of cash on her when you go out. I have no personal experience to back this one up, but it's more of an assumption based on the cost of having a personal trainer. These are the types of girls who are demanding and financially unstable, which are two factors that should never come into play when your trying to get it in.
I have been on the planet for 22 years and I still don't exactly know what aerobics is, other than a fad women have bought into so much that they have gyms and business (yes, the same can be said for yoga). Besides my lack of knowledge on the subject, I will keep this brief: chicks who do aerobics should have great bodies (one would think) and could do things while having sex that other women simply can't. I don't see a reason why not to pursue, but then again this might just be out of ignorance.
The stereotype men have about women that do yoga is that they are extremely sexual in nature, or, at least, they are free spirits who may be willing to do just about anything in bed seeing they are so flexible. This isn't necessarily true, even though it does sound delightful on paper.
In reality, yoga chicks are extremely independent and they have almost this "I don't need a man" motto. They are dutifully and concentrated in their practice so much to the point where you can stare at them and they won't notice and if they do, they're usually cool with it. After all, what else is the point of yoga pants?
As for the flexibility thing, it's definitely enough to grab my attention. She can bend, twist and stretch into inhumanly positions and contortions with relative ease and she is humble about it. Unlike other fitness junkies, yoga women tend to do their exercise and do it humbly, which is a plus.
There's nothing worse than a chick who is condescending and has a "I'm better than you because I do this" approach to working out. You will never get this with yoga types, they will let you do your thing and they theirs. And yes, you can stare at them too, which is a plus.
"I do sit-ups everyday, Becky. I don't understand why I still have stomach fat?!?!"
Abs & Legs
Sexually, I don't know how much a man can infer from watching a girl do an ab and leg workout. I feel like this is the standard gym routine for a chick and there isn't much that it says other than the fact she isn't lazy and she likes to keep her belly flat. I have no problem with either of those reasons.
However, I would recommend caution when eyeing a girl who is in close proximity to you that is working on her abs. I got caught doing this once and it was the equivelant of being caught trying to steal second base in the World Series. The chick actually came up to me and told me to stop staring. When she left to go back to her workout, I was left with a weird sensation that blended embarrassment and pride together. She had noticed me noticing her, and somewhere, deep down, she liked it.
Of all the things on this list, this is the one men can laugh at the most, although we are ironically culpable of doing this ourselves. But in all seriousness, what is social exercising?
Glad you asked, it's a phrase women coined to give themselves an excuse to gossip with each other while they are under the impression their working out and getting more physically fit. This simply is not true. There's nothing about walking around town or campus and exchanging the latest rumors that is physically demanding.
Moreover, during this bizarre recreation practice, she is more than likely going to release her inner bitch, while not really increasing her libido at all. Neither of these are good for us men. I don't see any real reason to approach these types, let alone stare at them.
Hey, I'm not judging, if she thinks walking is exercise enough for her that's fine, but I'm looking elsewhere.
She has the potential to have bigger arms than you. I think you can fill in the rest with your imagination...
In case you can't, this is the type of woman who wants to prepare herself to fend off attackers. In other words, she doesn't want a man to protect her, which I find backward, bizarre and unusual. She is untrusting of the male gender and is probably hard to tame.
She also might have a weird social life considering when she works out, she is thinking about being accosted at a club or whatever else she fears in her mind. This is the unsettled type who doesn't want to settle down with anybody and, therefore, why she is ironically alone working out with the men in the free-weight section instead of working out with her gal pals and listening to their sex stories from the night before.
Personally, I love the competitive type. I am not a fan of submissive, passive girls, so I am always keeping an eye on the chicks who play volleyball on a team or shoot hoops in the gym. Although many stereotype these girls as being too masculine, I have never found them to be. Rather, they are easier to approach in a gym setting and definitely easier to break the ice with. They are not cocky or stand-offish at all, which is a huge plus. Most importantly, they are playful in a good way and not too serious like some yoga-aerobics types might be. Usually all their intensity wears off through competition so when you swoop in, they are at a much better place mentally and their libidos are heightened, meaning they are ready to get out of the gym and get into bed.
A shower first might not hurt though.