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The Weekend Guyism Speed Round

Welcome Week Hook Up Heroes: Sex in a Sauna is Hot, Sweaty

By / 08.17.12

Think you’ve got a better Welcome Week memory? Send it our way, and we’ll see if it’s prize-worthy.  We will be publishing the cream of the crop over the next couple weeks to get you even more amped up for another school year.

This story is kind of dated, from my freshman year. In the fall of 2010, I went away to school for the first time, and was expecting nothing less than drunken, drug-fueled stupor for the duration of the semester. I went to a small school on the East Coast, where finding any drug you want is easier than finding the bread at a supermarket.

I moved in two weeks earlier than the other freshmen to start three-a-days for the soccer team. The only people at the school were athletes, some faculty, and students who stayed through the summer. Within my first 15 minutes on campus, I toked up with a few of my teammates, and we met up afterwards with several of the members of the girls' soccer team. I've always been into the athletic types, and these girls were not only in incredible shape, but were much more attractive than most of the man-faced soccer girls that rule the sport.

Fast-forward a couple hours, the evening started off with some casual beer pong at the girls' house, and there was one girl in particular that had been eyeing me the whole day, we'll call her Jackie. I've never really been into girls with dreads, but my school has a high dread count, and this girl kept them very tidy.

After a few drinks things started to loosen up, and Jackie's teammate, we'll call her Amber, suggested that we explore the athletic facilities, which we had access to 24 hours a day. The other guys I was with weren't comfortable with the idea at first, but agreed to “check it out”.

We entered the gym, and my buddies were led by Amber to the bleachers, along with another teammate of hers who tagged along. I wanted to see the rest of the facilities, and Jackie led me on a little tour of the locker room. As soon as we got in she began stripping, and asked if I'd ever been in a sauna before.

I had, when I was doing some PT work for a hip injury. She led me into the sauna in just her panties and bra, and I followed suit. She proceeded to give me the best head I've gotten to this day, but it was hotter than a soldier's taint in the sauna so we decided to get in the pool. Amber and the others came into the pool with us, and within a few minutes there were a lot of naked bodies and no one keeping track of time. Amber and her teammate were f*cking my teammates, and I had my way with Jackie, until Amber called an audible and switched it up with Jackie.

After about 20 minutes, we started hearing people talking in the locker room, which was adjacent to the pool. I realized that we had been in the building for quite some time, and that the swimmers had practice very early.

The swim coach came around the corner, and saw the six of us in the pool completely naked, and told us to leave immediately or our coaches would be contacted.

My teammate, we'll call him Andre, who happened to drop a tab of acid earlier in the night, decided it would be a good idea to get all philosophical with the swim coach. She proceeded to gather up our shorts and jerseys, and said that Coach would hear about it first thing in the morning.

The coaches decided a fitting punishment was to make us wear the girls' clothes, and vice versa for one week of practice. I'd say it was worth the embarrassment in front of the rest of the team.


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