Start Your Friday By Watching This Dude Take A Shovel To The Face And Be Thankful Your Cranium Is Still Intact

I can think of a few things I’d prefer before taking a shovel to the dome piece. Like relaxing with family, watching movies, shitting my pants, just to name a few. All I’d choose over getting plowed by a construction tool.  There are probably a few more, just can’t think of them right now. But this dude either has the hardest head in all of humanity or that shovel was made by Fisher Price. I’m no Tim the Toolman Taylor here but if that thing was made with an ounce of fucking integrity, the dude would have dropped like a bag of concrete and this post would drive in a lot more traffic and I’d probably get a raise and my whole life would improve dramatically. May even have sex with a girl because of it. If this dicktooth actually took his job seriously and went to Home Depot to pick up a shovel that isn’t a fucking embarrassment to the whole shovel species, he’d be using it to shovel the dudes lifeless body off the pavement. I’d never wish more harm on anyone, unless I can benefit from it. Things would have been done differently if I were there.

“Ok guys, not bad for a first crack at it” *Hands dude a sledgehammer* “Let the drama build a bit before you shatter this dudes cranium. REALLY SELL IT.….Deborah can we get subtitles. DEBORAH!”

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.