by J. Camm on February 8, 2011 at 2:45pm - comments
What I've just learned from watching this video (of a hold-up in Seattle, WA.) is that just because you are robbing a man's bodega doesn't mean you have to be a f*cking a**hole about it. You can be a crook with a touch of class (if that's even possible). There is no need for calling the store owner a motherf*cker or lodging your gun into his mouth. All you need to do is say, "Hey, pal. Having a tough day here, so I've decided to rob you. I got mouths to feed, you understand. So just open the register, dump all cash in the bag and I'll be on my merry way. Oh, and if you could throw a couple packs of Newport's my way, I'd be delighted." That isn't exactly what the guy in the video said, but it's still damn close. Sadly, all that kindness didn't stop him from being arrested (no word whether Seattle superhero, Phoenix Jones, was involved). Maybe next time he'll where some pantyhose or a ski-mask over his face. The video is below.