Somewhere David Stern is on a cell phone with Dan Gilbert, sternly warning the Cavs owner that there better not be any funny business for LeBron's much-vaunted return tonight. That said, it's highly unlikely what went down in Birmingham, England, for the the Second City Derby this past week will repeat itself tonight in "The Q." After all, this is America; we're too lazy civilized to riot over sports in which you can't you use your hands (your furniture bon-fires don't count, Morgantown, West Virigina).

Anyway, here are seven minutes of raw footage from this week's massive fan brawl on the pitch of St. Andrews Stadium. It occurred after Birmingham City's 2-1 victory over Aston Villa in an annual rivalry game that dates back to 1887. Needless to say, things have gotten testy between the cities' fan bases over the last 123 years. There's nothing like a good, old-fashioned soccer riot to ease into an intense evening of awesome sports match-ups.

Hey England, how'd that World Cup bid work out for you?