Life
by Fitz E Fresh on May 30, 2012

Q. So I got a prescription of Viagra from the doctor mainly for when I drink so I can get it up and I can go a long time with it but I can never seem to get to my climax and I have to fake it, that being said… Can girls tell if a guy fakes an orgasm?

A. Whoa whoa whoa. Either my readership age spans about forty years beyond what I previously imagined, or you’re in your 20’s- and taking Viagra. And STILL not getting it going. Also, what kind of doctor prescribes Viagra to a kid who reached puberty less than ten years ago?

I think I’m missing something.

Either you’re religiously chasing the most busted chicks you can possibly find, or you’re gay and don’t know it yet. 

In response to your actual question, yes; girls can usually tell when a guy is faking it. Unless you’re using a condom…but unfortunately in your case, that’s just gonna make things a lot harder. And I’m not referring to your cock.

Q. So last weekend I met my mom's best friend from college, and holy smokes is she bangin'. Of course i didn’t rail her or anything, but i looked her up on Facebook and she is the biggest MILF I ever seen. Last night, i was pleasuring myself to her pics, and my mom walks in and sees her best friend on my laptop with my jeans around my ankles and my dick in the air. What should I do?

A. Oh god. I haven’t experienced second hand embarrassment this severe since that one time I watched “The Biggest Loser.” 

Go out right now and buy your mom some flowers– and never speak of it again. And for god’s sake, put a lock on your door.

Q. This past Sunday I was supposed to have my third “date” with this girl. It really seemed that up until this point we were both hitting it off, and she was showing the signs that she was interested in me. 

Well, Sunday came and she completely blew me off. Getting dinner was her idea, and when I called to arrange time and place; she didn't answer my call or return my VM. It wasn't until a few hours later that I decide to text her how her weekend was (she was out of town). She immediately responded “Sorry, I got caught up today and lost track of time” I said “no worries, hope your weekend was good, take care” she said “you too” a few hours later I decided to make a final attempt, just asking via text “when can we meet up again?” I haven't gotten a response to that text. 

All of that for two simple questions – What should I do next, and what do you think led to this? We met via a dating site, she started the contact, so you would have to think she was looking for a relationship.


A. Sounds to me like homegirl lost interest, and/or found a new interest. Girls tend to get pretty excited about new crushes, and if its fizzled this fast she’s over it.

I’ve never done the online dating thing myself but I’d imagine its pretty much survival of the fittest. Some sexy bro comes along with an e-flirt and an e-vite to a swanky dinner and boom– your Applebee’s plans go out the window.

This girl’s no dummy; she’s shopping her options as any smart buyer should. If she’s interested, she’ll come back around. Otherwise I say move on to your next e-conquest.

Q. Dear BroBible Babe,
I’m a 16 year old, white, very attractive high school freshman living in d-town, Texas. Not to sound cocky, but I’ve never been rejected by a girl. The reason i tell you this is because i have a girl I'm pursuing, but she has only ever liked black guys (she's half Indian/half white). We say hey whenever we see each other at school, but we mainly talk on Facebook. We both got invited to the same grad parties this year…. any tips on how I should make my move/get her to like me?

A. I do actually have some tips for you. Unfortunately, none of them are sincere, realistic or politically correct. So I have to just say… good luck.

Q. I'm going off to college next year with this incredibly hot chick and at the moment we are just friends. We talk and text and go to parties together so we are on good terms. I am wondering, is it more to my advantage to try and keep her as a good hot friend in college or f*ck her when I get there? Keep in mind she is really hot.

A. Hold your horses, young bro.

If she's as much of a babe as you claim, she'll inevitably end up finding and making friends with her own kind.

Translation: she'll be introducing you to a ton of other hot girls; girls who you’ll instantly have an in with by way of your friendship with hot girl #1.

If you keep things at a distance with her, you won’t risk ruining your chance with other girls- or what sounds like an actual friendship.

Once you guys make it to senior year…all bets are off.