When you get to be around my still relatively young age, a disturbing phenomenon begins to take over your Facebook news feed—it's suddenly clogged with baby pictures. Ultrasounds, soft-focus photos of kids rolling around in a field, stupid pictures of "little Tommy's first shoes!" What used to be my tool to see hot girls' Spring Break shots has now become a place for new parents to force-feed their dumb new offspring down my throat.
Friends, I have found the answer.
It's called Unbaby.me, and it's the best thing to hit the Internet since Facebook itself. Download the extension to Google Chrome, and it replaces any baby pictures that have sullied your Facebook feed with randomly generated photos from the Instagram feed of your choice.
Take look at how it works (and I should note here that despite my obvious enthusiasm, these guys have not paid me anything):
Unbaby gives you these set list of words and phrases to search posts for. You can add and delete any that you wish—if you know someone who is prone to overshare and is about to have a kid, add his or her name to the list.
Here's where Unbaby gets good. It automatically searches for any of the above phrases and if they're connected to a picture, that picture is replaced by the Instagram feed you've chosen. The standard feed is for "cats" but that's dumb. I changed it to "bikini."
The Before post—a baby ruining my Facebook experience:
And now, the After.
Perfect. How about changing the Instagram feed to "bacon"?
Oh, that's good. Unbaby.me rules.
One final suggestion to the people doing God's work at the app company—how about something for political messages? Maybe give us an option to search for words like "Romney," "Obama," or "Chick-fil-A" and then replace the posts with Rick Ross lyrics? We'll be in touch.