For those of you who don’t remember, Twitch Plays Pokemon was where an emulated version of Pokemon Red was uploaded online for people to play, but the catch was that anyone watching the video stream of the game could play. Yep, all 60,000+ people could play Pokemon Red simply by typing in commands such as “UP” “DOWN” “A,” etc. into a chat room. In other words, it was a giant clusterfuck of the player walking into walls, accidentally releasing Pokemon who didn’t suck, catching random ones that DID suck, and repeatedly selecting the Helix Fossil just to have Professor Oak say “HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS ISN’T THE FUCKING TIME OR PLACE FOR THAT.”
Well they’ve finally made it to Pokemon versions X and Y. While I’m not too familiar with the newest Pokemon games (not because I have a life, but because I’m too cheap to buy a 3DS), I know that there’s enough filler fluff BS in the most recent versions that this round of TPP is going to be the worst (read: best) ever. Not because I like to do pointless shit like enter my Pokemon into fashion shows, but because whenever something stupid keeps happening in TPP it spawns hilarious shit throughout its dedicated Reddit thread. Here’s a few highlights from when they played Pokemon Red:
(Because all they could get a Pidgeot to do was Sand Attack. Everywhere. All the time.)
Anyhoo, as of right now the team consists of:
-Pikachu named O. Dr (yes, spaces included), level 23
-Absol named QQYyy25o6wf, level 25
-Charmeleon named !tajllyygaa, level 32
-Honedge named oi!oiswhhve, level 23
-And two level 20 Hawluchas
If there was ever any evidence that the creators of Pokemon are running out of design ideas, it’s the fact that “Hawlucha” and “Honedge” exist. One is a dildo-sword looking thing with, like, omg such a fashionable blue ponytail, and the other is a Nacho-Libre ripoff in the form of a Christmas-themed parrot.
I’m watching them play and they’re getting their asses handed to them in a double battle against a Machoke and a Mr. Mime. Considering Mr. Mime is one of the most worthless pedophile-tastic pokemon ever created and Machoke’s defense is pretty much crap, this shouldn’t be a hard battle…yet 4 of their 6 pokemon have fainted despite going in with a completely healed team and they’re stuck dicking around with Sword Dildo and Nacho Parrot. Just kidding, the parrot just fainted and Sword Dildo used agility because #fail.
Click here to go to the Twitch stream of the game and join me in watching this…All. Fucking. Day.
Praise Lord Helix!