Oscar Meyer
Hey man, you know what sucks? Turkey bacon. All full of bullshit and lies and no flavor.
You know what doesn’t suck? Laughing at things that suck, like Nazis and losers and turkey bacon.
Turkey bacon sucks. It tastes like someone ran a Jack Link’s Beef Jerky stick longways through a deli slicer.
That ain’t shit I want to eat.
So, let’s all have a hearty hahahahaha at Kraft Foods and its turkey bacon. They had to pull two million pounds of it. Two million pounds! I had no idea until now, but that is the exact amount of turkey bacon that I needed to be dumped in the trash to make me happy. I am so happy. Had it been 100,000 pounds I would not have cared. NOT ENOUGH I SAY. From KWQC:
Kraft Heinz Foods Company is recalling more than 2 million pounds of turkey bacon products because it may spoil before the “Best When Used By” date.
The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS) announced the recall on Tuesday.
The turkey bacon in question was produced between May 31, 2015, and August 6, 2015.
The problem was discovered after consumer complaints about spoilage prompted an investigation.
You know what doesn’t spoil? Bacon, because it’s cured. That’s the whole point of curing. So it won’t spoil. Turkey bacon, which claims to be cured, apparently isn’t. At least not properly.
Once more, hahahah turkey bacon. Don’t bring your weak impostor shit to my supermarket shelf.