What’s the worst four words that cause a man to grimace when he hears them come from the mouth of their special gal?
“I have a headache.”
That’s right, this excuse has been utilized by females so often throughout the years that it has become a joke and even a parody of itself. While it may be a perfect excuse since no one can prove or disprove that a person has a headache, but it’s also fucking lazy. It’s a slap in the face to men everywhere. It’s like you’re not even trying to think up something original to try to fool us. I can respect these people in this video because at least they’re trying to come up with new “sexcuses.”
But we do have to be fair, guys are making sexcuses to get out of making sweet love too. How many times have you said, “I have an early morning,” to bail out of boning? Or has your chick been giving you the five-knuckle shuffle under the covers and you just pretend you’re sleeping to avoid all confrontation?
In fact, more than two thirds of men admit to having at least one or more excuses in their Rolodex they they can bust out to forgo sex. And of those men, 74 percent say they make excuses between one and five times per month.
Some guys go masculine with their sexcuses, and say that a weightlifting injury to the groin caused them not to be able to bump nasties.
The top five excuses aren’t very creative:
- I’m tired/I’m sleepy
- I have a headache
- I have to get up early tomorrow/I have to work the next day
- I don’t feel well/I have body aches/I’m sore/I’m in pain
- I am too stressed/distracted
“We don’t have air conditioning and it’s hot,” is a fine excuse for the summer. But you probably want to avoid excuses such as, “I caught syphilis today,” and “You’re not putting any lead in my pencil.”
But women are still the number one culprit in making sexcuses. While there’s nearly 70 percent of men that avoid banging, there’s a whopping 98 percent of women who have confessed to having using an excuse not to bang.
Tisk.
Tisk.
We’ll appreciate you more if you’re just honest with us and say that you’re not in the mood for three-minutes and four-inches of unbridled passion and jerky thrusts. Okay maybe you should keep telling us that you have a headache as to not destroy our ego.