This Study That Says Having Too Much Sex Makes You Unhappy Sounds Like It Came From A Bunch Of Virgins

Riiiiight. This coming from a bunch of nerdy scientists who couldn’t get laid if they had a $100 bill and a $5 hooker on their doorstep. “I don’t need sex! Sex makes people unhappy! Stop laughing at me, I’ll go and prove it just you watch!” And then he went and “proved” it, although his “proof” is a lot of “duh” science that even I could’ve predicted. Ugh.

Researchers at Carenegie Mellon University wanted to see if there was a “positive correlation between sexual frequency and happiness.”

What they found was that happy people are happy by nature — whether they are having frequent sex, or not. In fact, the study found for some couples frequent intercourse actually decreased happiness and lowered their sexual desire and enjoyment….

The researchers recruited 64 married, heterosexual couples and told half of them to double the frequency of sexual intercourse for 90 days. The other group went about their lives as usual.

In their daily journals, the group that increased the frequency of sex reported a decrease in happiness and sexual pleasure. Both men and women said the “additional intercourse wasn’t much fun.”

Lead researcher George Loewenstein told the New York Times, “It seems that if you’re having sex for a reason other than because you like and want sex,” you may undermine the quality of that sex and your resulting mood.(via)

Well no shit there Sherlock. I like watching Netflix, but if you force me to watch Netflix when I don’t WANT to watch Netflix then OBVIOUSLY I’m not going to enjoy it. Same goes for everything in life, including sex. Turn sex into a chore and you’re taking all the fun out of it. Looks like I should’ve been a scientist or at least a detective, because I cracked this case wiiiiide open just by reading the title and without ever leaving my bedroom to do any research whatsoever. I’m a goddamn genius.

[H/T CBS]